Looks like today is gonna be another one of those days. I didnt really sleep well and this morning I woke up in one of my "funks". I just feel sad, about everything. Im so tired of this feeling. I just feel like nothing will ever work out for me. Im not trying to feel sorry for myself, it is just that I am getting worn. Its been years of trying to make a life for myself but for reasons that I honestly dont understand I wind up feeling like Im on the outside looking in. This last relationship was detrimental. I had my hopes up but the wrongs that were done and of all the people I met through my ex, NONE of them were friends to me. I have never known SO many decietful people at one time. NO exaggeration, none of them could be trusted. Maybe thats why they didnt relate to me or like me. I dont know why else, I was nice to them. But, they did various drugs, (some coke, some meth, tabs, you name it) and lying and fucking people over was a way of life it seemed. I couldnt compete with that. But somehow I was the bad guy, what the fuck??!!I know that I will look back on it all differently in time. Time heals. But it was hard to get over my feelings when the ex called regularily or texted or left messages. Its hard on your emotions when you begin to accept and have closure and he does that. He has stopped I think, so now I have to start the process over. I dont see how a man can spend over two years in a relationship with a girl that loved him and not care in the least about her unless it is for his own benefit. Something must be wrong with him, right? He blamed me. I separated myself from him because he lied regularily and cheated, and didnt keep not one promise he made to me. But to him, I didnt love him and thats why I walked away. No accountability for his actions. It was my fault. Do you know how frustrating that was. I think it damaged me. I am left to rebuild myself, and I will, but right now I am just so tired and worn. And that has me sad.            This makes it hard to focus on schoolwork. But let me go try. Wish me luck please!