MY BABY IS GONE!Today was the day i would find out whats going on. I stepped out of the porche and made my way to the reception desk. I told the receptionist that i was here for my ultra sound. She asked me if i was going to been needing a picture of my baby. I paused for a second and said I am here to see if my baby is still alive. She gave me directions to the ward i was serposed to be on. What a surprize, it was the same ward as Monday. I got told to sit in the TV room again. I walked in and sat on the squeaky old chair, the same chair that i had sat on Monday . There was a woman in the room who looked pregnant crying he heart out. I wondered if this was the ward they send all the women who are having problems with there pregnancys. Silvia called me to her room i went in and lied down on the bed she put the jelly on my tummy and began her search. She looked at me and said that i have not got enough fluid in my bladder. I got taken back to the Tv room and got instructed to drink a jug of water. I already needed a wee but i gritted my teeth and just drank it. I never knew i could feel so sick from drinking water! After i had finished it all i was waiting, my bladder was killing, i was bursting for a wee. I started to pace the room just as i did i could feel more blood begining to start seeping into my knikers. I started to look down the corridores for a nurse or someone who could tell me where the toilets where before i bled throw my trousers. A old nurse stepped out of her room and said can i help you. I said YES! i really need to go to the toilet. She said are you a patient here. Yes i am. Who are you here to see? i said silvia. What are you going to have done? I said i am going for a ultra sound. The lady looked at me and said you cant go to the toilet if you are going to have a ultra sound. I said I AM COMING ON MY PERIOD I JUST NEED TO SORT MY SELF OUT! She started to give me directions to the end of the corridor and i just walked off really quick to find the toilet my self. I looked into the toilet and there was loads of blood more than ever before just like a period. I cleaned my self up and walked back to the TV room my belly was killing Silvia called me back to her room after a while and i went in for the scan . She ran the plastic tool across my belly and just as i had feared she could see nothing. She said that she could not detect a pregnancy and that she needed me to take a blood test to cheak my hormone levels. She gave me 2 slips entitled COMPLETE MISCARRAGE and i was directed to the phlebotomist. Once there i sat down for about 10mins looking at the writing "COMPLETE MISCARRAGE" and thought why me? What have i done wrong? I want my baby back! I sat on a old leather chair and rolled up my sleave. I normally hate blood tests but i did not feel anything no fear and no sign of the needle going into my arm just numbness. Simon and i walked back to the car and drove home. As soon as i got to the house i went to bed. when i woke up i had a really bad belly ache I went for a wee and had a sharp pain in my belly while going. I feel numb inside and i dont feel like doing anything. I just want to be on my own in a room of silence!
Replies
I am so sorry..I wish there was something I could say or do. I remember my own experience @ 10 weeks..and how callous people were to the whole thing..this is very emotional! I was empty, numb.
oh hun im so sorry. I\'m here to talk if you want to aye.
Keep strong
Love Reen
I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING IN SEPTEMBER OF 2006 ITS THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD KNOWING THAT ONE MINUTE UR BEAUTIFUL ANGEL IS IN THERE AND THE NEXT ITS GONE..I THOUGHT TO MYSELF NEVER AGAIN WOULD I DO THIS THEN MY HUSBAND AND I DECIDED WE WANTED TO COMPLETE OUR FAMILY...I AM NOW 6 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH JUST THE USUAL COMPLICATIONS...IM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSE..JUST NEVER GIVE UP HOPE IT WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU AS ALL THINGS DO HAPPEN FOR A REASON...IF YOU NEED TO TALK IM HEAR FOR YOU JUST MESSAGE ME...MUCH LOVE HUGS AND PRAYERS JENNIFER