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I sit and I spin....I make myself dizzy....
I cry and I cry and I get no reprieve. I whisper to myself...come on now. Get a grip, you can do this. You can move forward you can take a step. Then I giggle. And whisper to myself come on you can do this. I do this over and over and over again. I don't believe myself. I don't trust myself. And I know my foundation has been cracked and broken and I am slipping through.
It is difficult for me to explain being invisible. People have learned to see what I show them. I can smile right up there with the best of them. I can laugh and express humor. Carry on a conversation and make a point. And the entire time I am screaming to myself shut the fuck up. No one is really hearing you. No one is really seeing you. So shut the fuck up.
I take a deep breath and I exhale sadness. I close my eyes and I see blinding madness. I cringe at the thought of feeling comfortable. I shutter to think I might be found. And this my friends goes round and round.
I am speeding ahead, getting absolutely no where.... I am confused by my fear and I am in fear of my confusion.
I am so tired........so very tired.....so very tired......
I cry and I cry and I get no reprieve. I whisper to myself...come on now. Get a grip, you can do this. You can move forward you can take a step. Then I giggle. And whisper to myself come on you can do this. I do this over and over and over again. I don't believe myself. I don't trust myself. And I know my foundation has been cracked and broken and I am slipping through.
It is difficult for me to explain being invisible. People have learned to see what I show them. I can smile right up there with the best of them. I can laugh and express humor. Carry on a conversation and make a point. And the entire time I am screaming to myself shut the fuck up. No one is really hearing you. No one is really seeing you. So shut the fuck up.
I take a deep breath and I exhale sadness. I close my eyes and I see blinding madness. I cringe at the thought of feeling comfortable. I shutter to think I might be found. And this my friends goes round and round.
I am speeding ahead, getting absolutely no where.... I am confused by my fear and I am in fear of my confusion.
I am so tired........so very tired.....so very tired......
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