Today has been ok, I guess. My best friend came home last night to be with me today and I was ok until she left. Now I am here by myself with my thoughts and I can't help but to get upset over and over again. There is also something wrong with Tally, my chihuahua, and I am taking him to the vet in the morning. I am just so numb feeling right now. I still don't want to believe that I am going through all of this again. I don't know how I am going to try again. All I ever wanted was to have a healthy baby and it doesn't look like I am ever going to get there.