Wow.  I joined this site quite some time ago and have never done anything but read other entries and responses.  I guess like I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can start to share without just breaking down.  My son is a heroin addict.  He started smoking marijuana when he was around 14.  Of course, we did not approve and battled that addiction throughout his teen years.  He used all of the typical arguements, "it's not physically addictive", " I can quit whenever I want", " I just use for fun", "that crap about it being a gateway drug is bull".  Then, at 15, he overdosed on Soma.  He survived, but it was not a fun night in the hospital for us.  Finding him was every parent's nightmare.  After that incident, I overheard him telling his friends that he knew then that we loved him and he didn't want to risk his life with anything stronger than pot.  We all know how that goes.  By the time he was 17, he was smoking heroin.  That moved on to injecting which has been going on for several years now.  We intervened and sent him to "rehab" a couple of times.  Of course, our insurance wouldn't pay for the full residential treatment and he didn't really want to be clean then, either, so there was no success.  After he'd sold almost every belonging that he had, he started stealing from us.  He even hocked my wedding/engagement rings....yup, an addict will stop at nothing to get what they want.  I was the main victim of his thievery, although both his sister and father have felt that pain.  After his last stint in rehab resulted in him being kicked out of sober living for using, he moved away.  As odd as it sounds, that period of time was almost a relief.  Don't get me wrong, I love my son with all of my heart, but dealing with his addiction is so emotionally painful that it actually causes physical pain.  I have found that the only way that I can cope is to protect myself first.  In December, he called up and said that he can't do it anymore and was checking himself into the hospital.  After he had detoxed, he  moved to a treatment facility back in our hometown.  He's been working the program (or so it seems, for real, this time).  He's now in sober living, but already admitted to relapsing.  He "claims" to have injected water becaues he's just as addicted to the needle as he is to the drug.  Has anyone ever heard of that?  Is that dangerous?  Any more so than using heroin would be?  I'm inclined to think that he's saying that to keep everyone from being too disappointed.  I think he really used the drugs and the water story is a lie...but curious if anyone else has ever heard of that.
Sadmama