Starting Over!!!
After losing my health insurance, and not meeting with my therapist weekly I lost my way. I get mixed up some really bad people that compromised my car, my rental car and my sobriety. It amazed me that I so codependent that I couldn't say no even tell a drug dealer no that wanted to use my car.
I had 123 days of sobriety , but looking at things I'm coming clean to my boyfriend and my sponsor about my drug usage I realized I needed to start that day one. I realized that I was so ashamed of my actions that I shut down mentally. Acting as if ignoring the problem would make it all go away.
I was doing the total opposite of what I was telling my boyfriend simply because I felt it was way get back at him for being too busy to talk to me and due to the fact that he started using again. I thought I was smart enough to handle the situation , but in fact I'm not a streetwise person, and it only got me into more trouble than I could handle.
After avoiding talking to my sponsor to avoid the problem I realized that I need to get my life in control. I realized that I was feeling with the huge spiral of shame due to my actions. I am happy to say that those unsafe people are no longer in my life and that makes me extremely happy. I have never felt more free.
Next week I will get back on my antidepressant because I have health insurance, I will start meeting again with my therapist and school starts on September 3. My life is back on the right path!
I had 123 days of sobriety , but looking at things I'm coming clean to my boyfriend and my sponsor about my drug usage I realized I needed to start that day one. I realized that I was so ashamed of my actions that I shut down mentally. Acting as if ignoring the problem would make it all go away.
I was doing the total opposite of what I was telling my boyfriend simply because I felt it was way get back at him for being too busy to talk to me and due to the fact that he started using again. I thought I was smart enough to handle the situation , but in fact I'm not a streetwise person, and it only got me into more trouble than I could handle.
After avoiding talking to my sponsor to avoid the problem I realized that I need to get my life in control. I realized that I was feeling with the huge spiral of shame due to my actions. I am happy to say that those unsafe people are no longer in my life and that makes me extremely happy. I have never felt more free.
Next week I will get back on my antidepressant because I have health insurance, I will start meeting again with my therapist and school starts on September 3. My life is back on the right path!
Replies