its been a while since i've written...i just havent felt the need to write anything. for the past couple days i've been very lazy and have just hung around, being anti-social, and watched movies and tv. lame i know....but atleast i went to the gym! its all good though cuz i'm going out tonight and tomorrow night.  i did have some proud moments recently though. last friday i worked a night shoot from 630pm to 7am. rough, i know. this is the second time i've done one of those and the first time ended up being disaterous when it came to the eating. fortunately, this time i was soooo good, and very proud of myself. i was with friends so that was helpful and i was happy most of the night so i think that all contributed to me being able to say no to the food...i just didnt need it (except of course when i was hungry ). i also have been doing good at work on regular days when i smoke weed before. i've been able to control myself very well. i actually havent had the oppurtunity to smoke during my lunch break anyway so that hasnt been a problem (the last few times i've worked we've had to take a shuttle to set from the parking lot cuz we had to park far away....can't so much get my own personal shuttle during lunch so i can smoke in my car...) i'm glad i made plans to go out tonight though cuz i was feeling the isolation bug. three people called me today and i didnt answer any of them. i havent called any of them back either. the only person i responded to was one who texted me...for whatever reason, i have no problem "talking" via texting but talking on the phone is something i avoid. i need to get over this. time to figure out where this problem is rooting from. it seems i dont answer local calls cuz they're gonna wanna hang out and i dont want to and i dont answer long distane ones cuz they're just gonna wanna talk and i dont feel like talking. this is not good...i'm just glad i still go to the gym and eat well. on a good note, i'm now only +.8lb which is great compared to +2lb. so that means i'm losing and i'll even be happy once i get back to 148 where i started. then i'm on my way to 135....oh how nice that will be!