i am a very happy girl. we had a bbq today (and yes, its february, lol) and i couldnt have had more fun. i love my friends and the good times we have.  i was thinking about things i need to do and decided that i can only work on 1 or 2 goals at a time. so right now i'm working on building relationships and losing weight...right now losing weight is coming second but i'm still trying my best to work at it. therefore, i'm chosing not to worry about furthering my career right now but instead to just work as i am and try to move on when i can devote more time. but right now i need to focus on being happy and the two ways i can do it right now is to lose weight and make friends. besides, i want to be at my best health and weight when i start going in for auditions. i dont ever want to think that i didnt get something because i was too heavy. its just another reason for me to not worry about my career now...it can wait a little bit, i'm in no hurry. but i sure dont need to lose weight to have fun with my friends...and i love that.