In the words of Britney Spears: "Oops, I did it again".I encountered a binge last night. Now, if I've been drinking and have impaired judgement, does it count if i binge? what about if i was high from smoking weed? cuz the first time i relapsed it was cuz i was high and this time cuz i was very buzzy (i wasnt drunk or else i wouldnt have been driving). but my answer to these questions is yes, it counts. its like when people use being drunk as an excuse for cheating on a girl/boyfriend....please, worst excuse. therefore, i dont feel i can use it for this either.i guess i kind of saw it coming. i was careless last wednesday work, i ate too much on christmas eve and day, and then last night was the killer. its like it was just building up and if i had only not let myself go in the first place it wouldnt have escalated as it did. i was hanging out with friends last night and i remember when the idea first popped in my head. they were talking about stuff i didnt know about and my mind started wandering and in popped "jack in the box" ( a fast food restaurant). so for the rest of the night, when i wasnt involved in conversations i would think about it. when i left the bar at the end of the night, i went to the "jitb" near where i'm staying and it was closed. so now i was on a mission for something to eat and since i had my mind set on fast food, that was what i wanted. i found a 24 hr drive thru mcdonalds and got fries and a cheeseburger, both off the dollar menu. then, it was time to find another place and i found another 24 hour drive thru mcd's. there i got chocolate chip cookies cuz i wanted ice cream but they didnt have it. so i figured i'd try for one more place to try and get the ice cream i wanted. you'll never believe it but i found a third 24 hr mcd's (why are there so many? and why arent any of the other fast food places open so late?). there, i actually had a different experience. i asked for ice cream and they said they didnt have any so i got fries instead. when i pulled up he said it would be a few minutes and told me i didnt have to pay for them. i thought that was nice. then he asked what kind of ice cream i wanted and i told him an m&m mcflurry and he made me one, also free of charge. then he proceeded to ask my name and shake my hand. guess it pays to have the drive thru guy think you're pretty! so after it all, i only ended up spending like $4 so atleast i didnt waste a lot of money like i used to.i think there was a lot that went into this relapse. the two things that i think most lead to it were being back at a place where my binging was at its peak (the house and the area) and giving myself the oppurtunity to be careless because im on vacation and cuz of christmas. it was definitely another learning experience, i felt like crap after, today i feel bloated and hungover, but i went to the gym and feel somewhat better.so i've decided to do things a little different this time around. i've done the counting days thing which was great and i've gotten to 8 weeks and 11 weeks. but this time i'm just going to say that 2008 is going to be a binge-free year. i'm not going to count the days, i'm just going to do it and hopefully at this time next year i can say i've had my first binge-free year. am i disappointed i binged? a little, but its not the worst thing i've ever done. its time to just get back to healthy and hope i havent gained too much weight while i'm here! i still have a few days left of my vaca so i'll just continue to try my best and come away a stronger person.