Day 55another not so exciting day. not having money can kinda suck sometimes. i've never lived like this before (in my adult life) so its rather interesting. you never realize that most things fun cost money until you dont have it to do things. i cant even go take a dance class for crying out loud. and, i dont try to make plans with people cuz i dont know what to suggest since i dont want to do anything that's not free...and what's free really? and even things that are free usually end up being followed by something else that's not (like going out to eat or something). so right now i'm just spending a lot of time in front of the tv and my computer, going to the gym, and working whenever i have a job. the positive side of this is that i've been doing very well eating and working out since i dont have anything getting in my way. since losing this weight in probably the most important thing in my life right now, other than working (gotta pay the bills!), this may not be such a bad thing. i just get bored and lonely sometimes. thank god i dont run to food anymore!i weigh in tomorrow and i'm kinda excited. i know i've done better this week compared to the last 4 or so. so i definitely expect at least a 1lb loss. if i lose any less then i cant let myself get too upset but i really dont know what else to do! i guess i can stop sitting on my ass all day but like i said before, what am i gonna do? well, i now that i'm thinking about it, i guess i do have ideas of things to do by myself and with others:go to the park and read (alone)go to the beach and read/lay out on warm days (alone)go hang out and watch the fountains and read or call friends (alone)go hiking (alone or with others)window shop at malls (i prefer this one alone....but it also usually leads to eating something while i'm there a.k.a. spending money)walk and window shop on major streets - hollywood blvd, sunset blvd, 3rd st, rodeo dr., etc. (alone or with others)so there are some ideas i have. i guess one reason i dont make an effort to invite others to do these things with me is because i dont know if they'll want to. i've always had an issue with people rejecting me and my ideas which i think goes along with this. besides, i only have a few friends out here and i dont feel close to any of them. but how am i going to if i dont make an effort to see them? life is so much easier with money. but like i keep telling myself, i'm happier with my current job so at this point i need to decide - have a job i like and spend more time alone or have a job that sucks and more money and social life. right now its an easy choice for me to have a job i like....it would be nice if i could have both a fun job and money. maybe someday i'll find that!
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THANKS FOR RESPONDING TO MY JOURNAL. WE ALL HAVE OUR UPS AND DOWNS BUT WE GET BACK ON AND START OVER. WE DON\'T GIVE UP AND THAT\'S WHAT MAKES US STRONGER EACH TIME. YOU ARE DOING GREAT AND I\'M PROUD OF YOU. YEAH, IT STINKS WITH NO MONEY, SEEMS LIKE WHEN I\'M AHEAD SOMETHING COMES UP. I USUALLY DON\'T SPEND ANY MONEY ON MYSELF WHICH I SHOULD AND DO DESERVE. IT\'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A JOB THAT YOU LIKE BUT I WOULD BE MORE CONCERNED ON THE MONEY. THIS PLACE WOULD BE HAPPIER IF PEOPLE HAD JOBS THEY LIKED BUT IT\'S NOT ALWAYS THE CASE. MY JOB IS OK BUT I MAKE GOOD MONEY AND IT WORKS. BUT STILL NEVER ENOUGH $. YOU HAVE LOTS THAT YOU CAN DO, YOUR LIST HAS IT AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO DO SOME OF THOSE THINGS. GET SOME MUSIC AND BE ON YOUR WAY AND BE HAPPY THAT YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING GOOD FOR YOURSELF. WHEN YOUR OUT IN THE FRESH AIR AND YOUR MIND IS CLEAR TO HAVE NO WORRIES, THAT\'S THE BEST TIME. WHAT TYPE OF JOB DO YOU HAVE? DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT GETTING A SECOND PART TIME JOB TO MAKE EXTRA MONEY OR ON THE WEEKENDS? I HAVE REALLY ONLY ONE FRIEND FROM H.S. BUT I DON\'T SEE HER BUT MAYBE ONCE OR EVERY OTHER MONTH. JUST EVERYONE\'S SCHEDULE IS DIFFERENT SO FOR ME IT\'S WORK, HOME, GYM WITH MY SON WHILE MY HUBBY WORKS. HE\'S USUALLY BUSY AND DOESN\'T HAVE TIME FOR HIMSELF EITHER BUT HOPING TO START GOING TO THE GYM WITH ME AND WORK ON HIS WEIGHT TO. HE\'S ABOUT 25 LBS OVER WHAT HE WOULD LIKE TO BE. IT\'S A CONSTANT STRUGGLE AND SOMETHING WE WILL ALWAYS BE THINKING ABOUT. YOUR RIGHT ABOUT NOT A LOT OF STUFF TO DO WITHOUT COSTING MONEY. WE ARE ALWAYS THINKING OF PLACES TO GO AS A FAMILY WITHOUT IT COSTING A BUNCH BUT REALLY AROUND ME THERE IS NOT ANYTHING LIKE THAT UNLESS ITS SUMMER AND YOU GO ON BIKE TRAILS, ETC. HOPE ALL THIS HELPS BUT DON\'T GIVE UP AND HERE IF YOU NEED ME. HUGS.... KATHY