i was planning to write about my concerns for today earlier but i never got around to it. i had two parties to go to and i was rather anxious about eating at one of them and drinking at both of them. however, since i've been saving a cheat day forever i wasnt as stressed as i may have been if i had had a cheat days a few days ago. so i finally had my cheat day....and lets make sure we all know the difference between a cheat day and a binge day. i consumed around 2700 cals today which is definitely a lot but there was no bingeing involved. actually, the only reason i went that far was because i went to two parties, had three drinks at each and also had a piece of apple pie at the first one....but seriously, i havent had apple pie in forever and i didnt get all bent out of shape about it cuz its my cheat day. also, i havent gone over 2000 cals since the end of august so i was due. what i found to be an accomplishment today was that i didnt eat any of the chips and salsa that was out at the first party, which is usually for me is a big binge problem....i could eat tons of that shit. last year that this same party (my aunt and uncle have an annual party) i binged like you would not believe on chips with regular and bean salsas, cookies, and my aunt made three different types of chili and i had a bowl of each. i felt so sick after and was drinking on top of that so my stomach was ridiculously full. this time i jut had 3 glasses of wine, chicken, ribs, and salad....and a piece of apple pie. so good and i was very good with my portioning...no seconds either. i'm very happy with myself.my aunt and uncle always have a theme for their parties and this year it was cowboys, indians, and saloon girls. i didnt want to buy a costume so i had my parents mail me an old dance costume of mine from when i was 12...yes, 12! let me tell you though, dance costumes come in adult small, med, or large and i have been an adult large forever and that was what this costume was....and it was spandex. i was a little nervous to wear something so tight and it has little booty shorts so basically my whole legs were showing.....but i was wearing tights so you couldnt see any jiggle or cellulite. what was great was that people kept complimenting me on my outfit ( i was a little nervous about being inappropriately dressed since everyone else there was over 40 and i was wearing something skin tight and short but whatever, its a costume party!), my aunt told me i look great and some other lady told me i had nice legs! it felt good to finally get people commenting on my body, especially since i know i so could not have pulled off that outfit even a month ago. i actually felt sexy wearing it and i havent felt that way in a long time. AND, i tried on the dress i want to wear for my going away party that is in two weeks and its fits! and its going to fit even better in two weeks! i have a belt that i can no longer wear cuz when i bought it i was using the smallest hole and when i tried it on tonight it wasnt even worth wearing cuz i needed a new hole to make it hold my pants in place! it feels good to finally see some proof in my clothing that i'm losing weight even though my scale has made me feel differently lately. my problem is that i weigh myself every morning, which i know isnt good but i still do it anyway. i'm getting my period in like 2 days though so i understand why my weight has gone up a little so i'm not stressing. but to actually feel sexy again is amazing.so today, i drank, i ate, i had a great time at my aunt and uncle's party and at my friend's b-day party after, i went well over 2000 cals and i'm ok with it. i'm happy that no bingeing was involved and i was very social with many people without being drunk, which are two things i have struggled with in the past. tomorrow things will be back to normal and as far as i know i dont have any more cheat days planned until my party on the 28th. i feel like i'm really getting somewhere now. i faced many challenges today and made it through. yay for me!