i wish i had found this site sooner. i feel i may have been able to get to this point sooner and it would be nice to be able to look back at my progress and see where i came from. i know that i've only written about one binge since i've been a member, which was the night i joined, but trust me, there were thousands before that night. the only reference i have to my past bingeing episodes are my memories and my food journal program on my computer that i have only been using since march. i wish i had a journal starting atleast from the end of 2005 which i feel was when i started getting to my worst ever and i gained the most weight in such a short period of time. however, i decided tonight that i wanted to get some facts about myself using my food journal so i can see what's been going on the for the past 6 months or so. so, since march 15, 2007 here's the stats i came up with:i have binged on 20% of the days not including my recent 3.5 weeks of no bingeing, i averaged going 4 days in a row without bingeingthe longest i had gone was 16 daysi was in the double digits of no bingeing days 4 times and i never made it to double digits until the end of junei binged 2 days in a row 3 times and 3 days in a row twicethe foods i binged on the most were ice cream, french fries and soft-baked cookies (but i know i didnt need my journal to tell me that!)the most i ate in one day was 5,000 caloriesi went over 4,000 cals 7 days, over 3,000 12 days, and the rest were well over 2,000remember, these stats are from a period of time when i was gradually getting better, not during my worst.i dont really know if there is any sort of conclusion that i can come to from this but there is something i can say to those of you who are still struggling to get past day 1. i may be here, binge-free for 3.5 weeks, but i didnt just say one day, i'm gonna stop bingeing and i did. i tried and failed tons of times. i was at my lowest point 1-2 years ago and its taken me that long to get from my lowest to my best. even as i look at my stats, i was going from 1 day to 7 to 3 to 5 to 4 to 9 and back to 0 between binge days. then all of the sudden i hit 16, then 10, 12, 13, back to 0, 4, and now three weeks. i guess i was just ready. the only thing i can think of that has made a big impact on my desire to be binge free is my upcoming move and attempt at a dance career. i need to be thinner to even think about making it in that world and i've pushed back my moving date a few times but now its oct. 1 or never.  its crunch time. the only way i can get down to my goal weight is by not bingeing, no questions asked. so cutting that out of my life was a necessity. now i know that's not the only reason i've gotten better cuz we all know that's not enough or else we would all be binge-free right now. we all have our reasons to stop doing it but we need so much more than one goal to make us better. you need to fix the things in your life that are causing you to want to binge and find other ways to deal with your issues so bingeing is not longer an option. easier said than done i know. but i guess what i'm trying to say here is that it may take a year or two to get from bingeing everyday to not doing it for weeks so dont get frustrated when you cant get out of the cycle. we all have different needs and different reasons why we binge so you need to figure out your own steps to recovery. the only think i can say that definitely works for everyone is never giving up.