so its been 2 weeks since my last binge and i'm so happy about that. but as i sit here, watching yet another rerun of 90210, which is such a great show, i'm still thinking about food. sometimes i feel like its just a matter of time before i do it again. i could easily walk over to my kitchen right now and eat about 1000 calories. i know i would totally regret it after and feel like shit but i could very easily do it. i was just thinking how fun it would be to eat all my ice cream sandwiches, or bake some frozen french fries, or eat anything else i have. it would sure beat sitting here another day as i wait for my ankle to fully heal. but i know that in the end it would so not be worth it. i'd binge for about 30 mins maybe and then feel like crap for hours and hours and maybe even days knowing that my 2 week streak is now broken and i have to start all over. the only way i would be content with eating too much is if i'm with friends and having a good time....not by myself to cure boredom. so it makes me wonder, will i ever not have the urge to binge? is it because i haven't been binge-free for long enough or is it because i will never be rid of this feeling? or maybe the feeling just wont come around as often but i'll still feel it sometimes. so i guess i just need to stay strong to get through these times. it will get easier....i think....i hope. it has too. but you know what, nothing is worse than being a binge eater, for me. so as long as i'm not bingeing than i'm doing something good for myself. its the worst thing about me right now so getting rid of it can help me to focus on the next thing, what ever that may be. i know i'll never be perfect, and neither will anyone else, but we can all do our best to be the best we can be...and for me, its not being a binge eater anymore. so even if this awful feeling never subsides, not giving into it is the best thing i can do.