Today I'm just venting, trying to make sense of it all. Since my daughter, Melany's attempted suicide, I'm back to crying and withdrawing myself from life. I don't want to feel or care anymore! I'm confidant that Melany will overcome her struggles and will exceed in life. I want to believe this!
Also this time last year, my Colleen was deteriorating in hospital. I re-live it all over again. My 2 granddaughters are visiting, but somehow I feel so distant from them. Almost as if I'm afraid to get too close to them.
When I wake up each morning, I close my eyes again and wish the day would go away! I'm just a solid square, who cannot fit into this round world!
Also this time last year, my Colleen was deteriorating in hospital. I re-live it all over again. My 2 granddaughters are visiting, but somehow I feel so distant from them. Almost as if I'm afraid to get too close to them.
When I wake up each morning, I close my eyes again and wish the day would go away! I'm just a solid square, who cannot fit into this round world!
Replies
One day at a time and hoping that some peace comes for you!!!
So much pain and loss. My heart hurts for you.
One breath at a time.
I can understand your feelings. I lived in fear of losing another loved one for a long time. I still get panic stricken when I don\'t hear from them for a while.
But I am living proof that life does get better. We never \'get over it\' but we develop strength to live with the horrendous loss. I still cry but I also can now laugh and enjoy life as I know Lisa would want.
Please know that we are on this road together.
Love to Colleen.
Huge hugs, Marlene
Sometimes I feel the pain so much I don\'t know what to say. I do though most of all want to say I hear you. Hugs Elissa
I GET IT!!! I am so afraid of feeling, of allowing myself to get close to even my daughter and grandchildren in fear that something might happen to them and I KNOW I would not be able to deal with that. I GET IT!
Know that you are thought of often. I think of you, Colleen and Melany.
One breath at a time, sometimes one tear.
tight hugs,
Merrilee
Hi Andelene, Some time has past since you posted your feelings. Are you feeling any better? I certainly hope so!