After a 10 days visit to my 2 sons, it feels good to be back home again. I really enjoyed visiting them, and they spoiled me a lot. I also had lots of "alone" time, while the boys were at work. These times helped me to get some peace, while I sorted out my emotions in a way. Someone on DS told me to "take good care of Colleen's mom", and that made a huge impact on me. I decided to honor Colleen's memory by still being the best mom and granny that I can be.
I keep thinking about, and reliving Colleen's last hours alive, how she kept deteriorating, the monitor showing her blood pressure falling, how all the emergency medication had no effect on her, and then finally her heart stopped. I heard her final breath just before her heart stopped. An hour later her whole body was covered in big, purple blotches, and I knew my child was really dead....
I am still, and will always be Colleen's mom!
I keep thinking about, and reliving Colleen's last hours alive, how she kept deteriorating, the monitor showing her blood pressure falling, how all the emergency medication had no effect on her, and then finally her heart stopped. I heard her final breath just before her heart stopped. An hour later her whole body was covered in big, purple blotches, and I knew my child was really dead....
I am still, and will always be Colleen's mom!
Replies
Oh to be spoiled by your boys! How wonderful!! But I do get what you mean about getting back home...especially after an extended stay somewhere. There\'s just no place like home!
That\'s good advice....TAKE CARE OF COLLEEN\'S MOM! And I\'m glad you\'re doing just that! It\'s so important for us to nurture ourselves....a current theme running through FMO lately! I love it!
Like you, I believe I honor my daughter by being the best me I can be....caring for my health, mentally and physically, and living a life that matters....has substance....and reaches beyond my own circumstances and broken heart to the hearts of others on their own journey\'s.
Caring for ourselves and paying it forward....Yep, I\'d say our girls are quite proud of their momma\'s!!
Love to you sweetie pie!
Love to Colleen!
I hope your sons will spoil you more in the future. With all the wonderful caregiving you have provided to Colleen, it\'s time for some caring to be heaped upon you. Do take care of Colleens mom....she deserves it ! I know you\'ll have some difficult days, but your strength will get you through them. You are in my prayers.
Hugs, Dan