Wednesday

Today started off terrible and it is just continuing.  I am trying to figure out a way to keep myself calm.  I want this relationship to work and I know that in my heart that I am the only one who wants this.  Even though I know this I have to make sure that at the end of the day that I know I tried my best and every time I look at my son I know that I never gave up and did everything in my power to make things work with his dad.  If we end up apart I can honestly sleep at night knowing that I did all I could.  But with this said.  I still feel like crap on a daily basis, he still makes me cry and feel worthless.  When is enough enough.  When do I decide to call it quits and still be able to look my family in the eyes and not feel like this is all my fault.