Tuesday

I woke up this morning with determination to fix my relationship.  Well that lasted a total of 20 minutes until I tried to have a conversation with Dom.  He is so full of anger and spite I know that past relationships haunt us for the rest of our lives but when is enough, enough.  I want him to marry me, we had a commitment ceremony almost three years ago and I had always thought that we would run off to the courthouse and get married but it hasn't happened.  Everyone believes that we are married, but we have no paper to prove it. As we are getting older and our health isn't the best I worry about what the future has in store We have no security, no financial stability for ourselves and our 5 year old.  When I try to bring any of this up he goes into asshole mode shuts down.  I am getting so frustrated.  He won't go to couples counseling or even admit we have a problem.  We live separate lives, separate rooms and separate finances.  (This all started in the last 4 months when he got a job) I am feeling a little better now that I have vented.  I will try again later, I am sure this isn't the last entry that I will be posting today.