The dreams. The dreams never go away. I wish they would stop. i thought everything was going well and my memories werent gong to come back but now they are as vivid as ever. I cant tell anyone because im so scared to talk about it. Im getting sucked back into this huge cycle and im afraid it will never end. Cutting, purging, restricting, mass depression. I started gong to a doctor but cant even find my self to pick up the phone becase i know they are gong to send me to the hosptial. i know thats not such a bad thing, but im scared to go back there. im tired of people thinking im some psycho. My family will never understand a thing. Im tired of feleing so alone. I feel like ill nevr get away from this mask...