Hi all it's been awhile since I've been on. Thing have improved a lot but always there is a shadow of what happened. I have dealt with my sons teen age lack of reasoning , band practice at 2 am, friends on and out, excessive eating and so on. Several months ago Conrad had a friend sleep over this kid is 19 going on 20 smooth con artist. Well I found out they are sleeping in the same bed. So I questioned this and I told him I find it odd. He claims they are like brothers. And that he is not gay. I told him not here in this house. Conrad's been going to college and I have really busted my ass to make the money for him to go I made sacrifices so he could. So a lot of crazy rebelling stuff has happened. I am down at the moment thinking of what happened last week. I decided to get out of town for the weekend. I left only to get a call that out benji dog (14 years old) is not right. So after he put him in the laundry room, with blanket water food that the dog is safe. I get a call at 3:34 am from the heroin addict brother, last time I talked to him (1.year 1/2 ago with threats from him) now I find out Conrad claims he is better. That they took my dog down to the vet to put him down and when they did the dog died there. Now they are on there way back to Bury the dog in the back yard at 4 am! And that the heroin addict stepson is coming with him to the house that he has been banned from. I made Several attempts of logic to Conrad. Wait till the light of day. And the stepson must not be at the house. He hug up on Me twice. I was three hours away and called my 83 father to go over there while I was on the phone. Both boys were there with extension cords and shovels in the back yard. Father told him to get out of there and they left. When my father left they had return. I was already on the road driving back for three hour trip back home. Arrived at 6:30 in the morning and search the backyard for this grave.
I searched and searched and could not find it. Then it dawned on me that the dead dog might be in the back of his car. I drove down open the trunk and there was no dog. So when I went and talk to him his work he told me the stepson have the dog in his trunk. I am now thoroughly disgusted and pissed off that this is even taken place. Trying to tell Conrad look at the situation no one in their right mind would do this. So after numerous text from the stepson blaming me for his mother suicide camp and his heroin problem, I just requested that he bring the dog back with no confrontation. He brought it back left a very vicious email and left the dog on top of the trashcan. Conrad came home we buried the dog and from that point on he told me he can live with me and he's moving out. I also found out Conrads been talking to his mother from halfway around the world. And I have most you know my story of the hell that I went through to save my son so all the crap that I had to deal with. I am very panicked right now. Conrad was supposed to start a new semester in college on Tuesday. But I found out he had dropped out of college completely including the last semester. I can see the attitude coming from him towards me is the same that his brother and his mother gave me. This last Thanksgiving I found pot in his room which was the anniversary date of the ex-wife suicide attempt. So now I'm panicked that he is heading down the same road and being manipulated by those two and I feel that everything is being blamed on me and yet I sacrifice and did what I needed to do to keep him safe.
I searched and searched and could not find it. Then it dawned on me that the dead dog might be in the back of his car. I drove down open the trunk and there was no dog. So when I went and talk to him his work he told me the stepson have the dog in his trunk. I am now thoroughly disgusted and pissed off that this is even taken place. Trying to tell Conrad look at the situation no one in their right mind would do this. So after numerous text from the stepson blaming me for his mother suicide camp and his heroin problem, I just requested that he bring the dog back with no confrontation. He brought it back left a very vicious email and left the dog on top of the trashcan. Conrad came home we buried the dog and from that point on he told me he can live with me and he's moving out. I also found out Conrads been talking to his mother from halfway around the world. And I have most you know my story of the hell that I went through to save my son so all the crap that I had to deal with. I am very panicked right now. Conrad was supposed to start a new semester in college on Tuesday. But I found out he had dropped out of college completely including the last semester. I can see the attitude coming from him towards me is the same that his brother and his mother gave me. This last Thanksgiving I found pot in his room which was the anniversary date of the ex-wife suicide attempt. So now I'm panicked that he is heading down the same road and being manipulated by those two and I feel that everything is being blamed on me and yet I sacrifice and did what I needed to do to keep him safe.
Replies
Wow do you realize that it\'s been over a year since you wrote a journal entry? That\'s awesome strides. I\'m so very sorry that you are going through this with your son. Unfortunately, the more you push him, the further they go away. He dropped out of college and didn\'t tell you? He\'s been lying to you? IMO what you need to do, is give him the space that he\'s asking for. He\'s old enough - if he wants to move because he can\'t live by your rules, then maybe it\'s for the best that he does move.
I\'m not a therapist, but perhaps you should go speak to one about it. You can\'t protect the kid from himself and you can\'t control the direction he goes. You can only hope that you showed him right from wrong, and remind him that he has living proof of what that shit does to you.
I know this is hard and I know your scared for him. I totally understand and wish that you didn\'t have to go through this, but God willing, he will learn. They all have to make their own mistakes. Think of how many you made when you were his age. You would have booked out of your parents house too. It\'s growing pains. Just let him know that you love him and if he ever needs a place, he can always come home. xxoo
Thx KRK I need that ya its been getting better.
Who wrote that old adage - \"Our children are not our children\" was straight-on. We can nuture and prune them like trees, but there comes a time when they grow up (right, wrong, or indifferent) and there\'s not a whole lot we can do about the direction they take.
I am truly sorry to hear about all this, my friend, but like KRKing said, there comes a time when we have to let them go. Always assure them of our love and never give up hope that they will find their way and find their way back to us.
I learned long ago that I can\'t \"fix\" anyone but myself. And we have to do this with our children sometimes, too. Keep faith in yourself and in your Higher Power. Do what I do and ask for divine protection for your kids because sometimes, they absolutely need it!