bad night

had a very bad night, sleepless and just full of painful feelings, so much I thew up several time, feeling sick to my stomach. I just can t get over these intense feelings of "US", how she could have done this to our son and not have any remorse. She made to conemt "Sweet" it just makes me sick sick sick. Is that what its was to her ...that shallow, I am trying to get past this, seems like I am stuck in the loss part, the shock part, the was what we had   fake , for all thoses years. Our happy times, our ;love times both mental and physical... were they fake. I am feeling trashed and used....and that she just  f--king moved on and left the emotional distruction behind. It just make me sick. to see how she hoing and how she behaved.
I try to get going and moving foward, its like raking nails. My dad is like just take some time out for yourself, but I feel worst, I sit and dwell and ball my eyes out, I get nothing done. If I start that Ill be sitting here a week crying and get into an emotional mess.

Replies

CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi

I am sorry that you had such a bad night, but can tell you that GETTING IT OUT is often the first step toward getting beyond it.

As the days move on, you will dwell on the past less and less. Just because she threw away what the two of you once had, doesn\'t DIMINISH what YOU put into the relationship. Remember that. This whole thing has NOTHING to do with you -- it is all about her. And she will ultimately suffer the consequences of her decisions and her actions.

Please be gentle with yourself. If you are working with a counselor or therapist, continue to do so. My experience taught me that just because the financial part may be settled doesn\'t mean that the unfinished emotional business is. Sending hugs and thoughts of strength and tenacity and hope your way. xoxox
new2free
new2free

I am so sorry you are having such an awful time of it.
It is very shocking to come to the realisation and acceptance of who we were married to for all that time.
PLease don\'t dwell on the whys and wherefores - we will never get our answers. Our exes are who they are and it is their loss that they cannot see what the true value of people and relationships are in life.
Why don\'t you and your son take a small vacation together to just have some fun? It doesn\'t have to be anything extravagant or fancy, just some bonding guy time, and some time away from the norm to get connected with yourself and with each other. It can hopefully help you to change your focus away from the sad excuse for a mother that your ex has become - that is her loss. You have the wonderful gift of your son in your life to treasure and enjoy.
mtnlionbait
mtnlionbait

My friends got me through this stage... I did ALOT of hiking. 1st 15 minutes were talking about my emotions, rest of the time was letting it go for just a little while as we focused on the hike. Over time, those emotions began to fade. This too shall pass! {{HUGS}}
deleted_user
deleted_user

Everyone goes through this in their own way and at a different pace. but it is doable. I had days that I would get to work, sit in my office and be dead inside, I couldn\'t figure out how to get started with what I needed to do, it does feel like everything is gone, but it isn\'t, you just have to focus on what matters most, you, your son and all the wonderful adventures that lie ahead. mtnlionbait is correct, this too shall pass even though it doesn\'t feel like it right now. Keep your eyes to the sky! Hugs Lorie