my life
I dont really no where to begin as i have never spoke about myself before. I got married 20years ago to a lovely man we loved each other so much. There was a lady that was friends to us both.She said all the things my husband wanted to hear.This went on for about 15 years then she went away for a while.I could tell my husband missed her. Then one day she moved back close to were we lived after a while my husband left me and our children. He went to live with this lady.This was 2years ago and he has not seen his children since and he told me about a year and and half ago that he doesnt want to see them or me again. Now he sent me forms from his solictor telling me he wants a divorce and part of me still loves him and wants him back. Thank you to everyone for being my friend all of yous will never no how much yous have helped me. All is in my prayers God bless
Replies
I\'m glad you have spoken and told us, your friends here what happened and is happening, you need lots of support and real friends to help you with this. I want you to know how terribly sorry I am that this happened to you.I\'m taking deep breaths...I find it heartbreakingly sad that you have been treated so badly by your husband and friend, indeed you have lost two people who you loved and you still have feelings for and now its a divorce he wants! What do you want Brightstar? how many children do you have and how old are they? I think he probably feels very very GUILTY and feels bad about what he has done, I cant understand how he could not see his children, that is unusual, perhaps his lady wants it that way? who knows some women are truly manipulitive...I dont know how you are managing, does he pay you maintenance to help bring the children up? if you go to court for a divorce, your husband may apply for access to see the children at certain times....she would not be able to interfere with that......it may even be because of her that he has applied for a divorce...you say its been two years, well he can go ahead and apply with or without your concent I THINK, not sure but I think you need to get a good solicitor as well, you need someone in your corner, looking after your interests.please do that, you can just \'TALK\' to one and its FREE for half an hour anyway....I think you\'ll be glad you did. I know you dont want this because you still love him and maybe your hoping he\'ll come \'to his senses\' but you can CHOOSE to let him go....you can choose to make a new life for you and the kids......give him the PIECE OF PAPER that\'s all a divorce is. You might end up marrying him again sometime in the future, look at Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burden, didn\'t they get married and divorced a few times?! I hope you dont though, I hope and I will pray that you meet and fall in love with someone who TRULY loves you for the wonderful, sweet, unique and very special person and great Mum that you are, and I believe you could OUTSHINE the brightest stars in the Universe, even a SUPERNOVA! You DESERVE the very best, believe me you do! One day this will all be behind you, you\'ll be so happy in the future that you wont even think about now......in the meantime though you have me in your corner, I\'m here if you need me,if you want to talk. ((( hugs ))) xxx :)
DEAR FRIEND, IT STINKS, THEY WERE LOVERS ALL THE TIME, DOES SHE HAVE ANY CHILDREN, LOOK I AM HONEST AND BLUNT, I KNEW A MAN LIKE HIM ,YES \'MY FATHER\', HE HAD ANOTHER WOMAN \'AUNTIE\', MUM WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO CLEAN, COOK, SLAVE AND HAVE HIS CHILDREN, BUT NOT TO LOVE AND RESPECT, I BURIED MY MOTHER ,SHE WAS SO SICK AND SUFFERING, ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO DIE, BECAUSE SUDDENLY SHE REALISED THAT HE WAS A \'\'USER, A FIRST CLASS ABUSER , ETC, AND SHE KEPT SAYING \'\'I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE FOR HIM AND HE WASN\'T WORTH IT\'\', THESE ARE HER LAST WORDS THAT I HEARD HER SAY, AFTER THE FUNERAL ,I LEFT I HAVE NEVER GONE BACK, MY FATHER DIED EXACTLY AS I ASKED \'\'GOD\'\' AND SO DID HIS BITCH, THEY ARE BOTH IN HELL, ..YOU ARE A GOOD HEARTED WOMAN, THIS WOMAN AND MAN HAVE HURT YOU AND TAKEN YOUR TRUST, YOUR CHILDREN ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT SUCH SCUM, OF A FATHER, BECAUSE FATHER DON\'T GO WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND LEAVE THEIR WIFE AND CHILDREN..FORGET ABOUT HIM, GIVE HIM THE DIVORCE ,HE DOESN\'T LOVE YOU, KEEP YOUR DIGNITY, AND LET GO, BE A MOTHER AND FATHER TO YOUR CHILDREN AND LIVE YOUR LIFE, HE IS AN ADULTERER AND A CHEATER, SHE IS A FORNICATOR , AND THEY WILL GO TO HELL, IT IS THE WORD OF \'\'GOD\'\',THEY DESERVE NOTHING..LOOK I HAVE A FRIEND AND HER HUSBAND HAS DONE THE SAME A CHRISTIAN, AND SHE HAS NOT SEEN HIM FOR OVER FIVE YEARS, HIS CHILDREN DO NOT WAN TO SEE HIM, HIS DAUGHTER GOT MARRIED ,HE WASN\'T INVITED..JUST TAKE WHAT YOU CAN FINANCIALLY, AND BE WISE, HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF, IF THEY WERE LOVERS BEFORE AND SHE CANNOT HAVE CHILDREN? THEY ARE JUST EVIL, AS WAS MY FATHER AND THAT WOMAN, THEY RUINED OUR LIVES, PEOPLE LOOKED AT US WITH SCORN, AND DIDN\'T WANT THEIR SONS TO HAVE ANITHING TO DO WITH US..DON\'T RUIN YOUR CHILDREN FUTURE, CUT FREE, IF WHAT I SAID OFFEND YOU ,IT IS THE TRUTH, I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN AND LOSS, BUT THEY ARE WORTHLESS AND UNDESERVING OF ANY FEELINGS IN YOUR PART, THEY ARE JUST DISGUSTING, SINNERS, ..LOVE YOU AND I PRAY THAT YOU SEE THE TRUTH, ADULTERY BRINGS DEMONIC BONDAGE, I KNOW ,HE LIED TO ME AND IS NO BETTER THAN MY FATHER, I AM ASKING TO HAVE THE ROMAN CATHOLIC MARRIAGE ANNULLED ,I AM AN EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN SINCE I KNOW \'THE LORD JESUS CHRIST\'\'AS MY SAVIOUR AND WAS BORN AGAIN.IT MEANS NOTHING TO MAN THAT PROMISE AND THEN COMMITT ADULTERY, WHATS THE POINT..LOVE LUCY..
brightstar,
It never fails to shock me what some people are capable of. There is something very wrong and even unnatural about a father who can abandon his kids. Rest assured that\'ll come back and bite him in the ass! There will be a day when he regrets his rash behavior. He\'ll be older an not so charmed by this obviously retched person and you and the children will be in a better place! How are the kids coping?? You are their hero! He has lost them forever and he has to care somewhere in his indescribably s selfish mind and soul! I am so sorry for that you had the unbelievable misfortune to have been tied to people like this in your life! Sometimes we can be fooled! I believe he is probably being manipulated by this person. Don\'t think for a moment that what they have is more real than what you had! Some men can\'t cope with \'real\'. Five children is a lot of reality!!! God bless you for being their hero! Please let me how they are doing and how you are doing.
((Cherie))
My children have took it bad but not Joan she was less than a year when he left.My oldeset Mandy is 21 she took a breakdown back in November and she is in hospital since then.I go up and down ever day to see her but now at the weekend she is aloud home but has to go back again on Monday.It is not far on them he has not seen any off them since he left he never even sent a Christmas card or Birthday card to them.But now i have good friends here thank you so much for listing to me and being my friend [im not good at spelling] love you Michelle xxx
Dear Brightstar,
I echo with the rest already said. First off, hugs to you and your little ones.
I know how hard it is to deal with other beings, so many levels of consciousness to deal with around us, including with our own self. I was fortunate to have my EX help with the kids growing up....I\'m sorry he is the way he is with yours. I know your one strong person to deal with so much...and I know you can. Please do what Cazz said, take care of your financial issues....with this, for your sake and your children. He isn\'t your enemy.....but you also must know, you have to take care of yourself.....and its amazing how a person that you were with most of your life can be. So, please listen to cazz.....and me too. I took less then what I should of, I always regretted that. My children suffered as well as I did. But, fortunately, the universe seemed to get us by. I know poverty very well....you don\'t want this sweetie. So, TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF IN THE BEST WAY WITH THIS, WITH HIM, please, for your sake!
I know this time is hard on you and we all are here, as well as I am sweetie, listening, here to be with you when online will let me, on here. hugs....
I\'m thankful that today I got to read about you and your life. I am honored you shared your self and I hope you feel released a little to keep going and be comfortable about you being you.
We meet many types and kinds of connections in life, some, or one you think will last a lifetime, hoping. I know how this feel, even if I\'ve never experienced it in this lifetime. You have known the feeling/touch of love with someone.
Better is opening its doors...love is not the enemy....it was the gift. Why I tell people, honor the moment, if you have love in your life, its a treasure to have....and no one knows the next minute of \'change\' with energies....here, unless both is really really, \'connected\' and moving in the same rhythm to life, \'together\'.
May you be blessed everyday with comfort and help along your path.
Bows.....to the best with everyone in your life!
Michelle,
You seem like such a lovely person. My heart is breaking for you and the kids. Your poor daughter! God bless her. My son had a terrible time with feeling abandoned when \'daddy\' left. He was terrified that I\'d leave him too and it made him physically ill. Hang in there and stay strong! We are here for you!
Much love to you too, focus on those sweet kids and be good to yourself!
Cherie
Comforting hugs. Dear friend, and family, i\'m so sorry, and saddened to hear what has happened. this is very heart breaking. i\'m very sorry that your ex-husband has done this to you, and your children, and his children too. it\'s very sad, when these incidents happen in life. i wish i could give you a great big hug. i want you to know, that i\'m here for you, and always will be, anytime you need too talk. :) DS is a wonderful site, and i hope that with each day, will come healing. You are a very nice person, and your children are very blessed to have you in their lives. :) keep strong together, and surrounded by love, care, and support. :) my family and i are sending lots of love, and many comforting hugs :)