You know, I have hurt myself emotionally for years, but only recently I started hurting myself phisically. It started with scratches, but I wasn't aware of that, so the real start was out of frustration, with my razor. I have to say I didn't know what I was doing in the begining, or why and really, it didn't seem to make any difference. But I kept doing it and now I know why. I read about self harm and people said it is bad and that people need to stop doing that to themselves and such. I asked myself that maybe I should stop and deal, like I'm dealing with my other problems, but I don't see a reason to stop. Life is hard enough, dealing with it give me a lot of anxiety and sometimes I come really close to lose it, I even think that feelings and that mindset will come back, I really don't want that, I'm going so well, I have conquered so much, but I'm alone, I know that and I honestly don't know if it would make any difference if I wasn't. Sometimes I need comfort, I need something to lean on, because this pressure is too overwhelming. Hurt myself does help. I hurt, I heal. I use coats or long sleeves shirts, no one knows. It hurts, yes, I don't like the pain, but I like how it makes me feels, how it brings me back, far away from things I don't want, things I want to let go. I won't elaborate, but I wonder. Why is it bad? It isn't for me. Red marks, cuts, a little blood, sore skin, they all heal, why be worried? Besides, they don't come from violence, they are welcome. They are my solace. I don't know, I don't want to explain further, it just makes me feel better, why does people think that's wrong?