Sitting here, alone in my home again.  Sure my son's here, but how much conversation can a 9 year old carry???  *S*  Not that I don't enjoy talking to him, I really do.  I just prefer conversations with an adult every once in a while.  I found that ever since I have moved out, most of my friends have vanished.  They don't call me and I'm not calling them anymore until they call me.  Sounds childish I know, but it seems that I was the only one calling them.  I hate one sided friendships.  Sure they are busy, so am I.  I take the time to call my friends, no matter what.  So mostly, I'm feeling lonely right now.  I hate feeling this way because I know it's the onset of the whoa is me attitude that my depression brings on.  My mother says to just snap myself out of it....I really don't think she understands.  If I could snap myself out of it, don't you think I would???  Do you think I personally enjoy living my life this way?  She tells me to keep active, keep doing something.  Yeah, okay....sure, I'll keep doing something but there is nothing that makes me happy when I'm in one of these moods.  Usually I just put myself into the "1960's bubble mode" where all I do is cook and clean.  (a learned traight from my mother who does the same thing).  But at any rate, I'm here, alone.....trying to enjoy it but feeling more and more depressed by the minute.