......
.. sometimes I feel so overwhelmed. pain/illness/Jaimie/Eli/petcare/homecare..
.. then, I feel like I'm not grateful enough. .. that my daughter is still alive.. that Eli is with us. .. that meds make it ( barely) possible for me to do any of it. .. then, I get afraid I'll loose even more because I wasn't grateful enough ............. ramble ramble ramble. I assume I'll feel somewhat better when i've adjusted to this different patch.. and the antibiotics work on my teeth. damn.. i hope i do.. i feel as effed up as a soup sandwhich :
Replies
well I hope you start to feel better....I do not know what a soup sammich feels like but I guess it is pretty lousy...hugs and here an open invite to ask for help! Just ask God because he is listening...
I think it\'s ok to not be grateful when you are overwhelmed... Most of the time you seem to be, so I think you deserve to give in a bit. I hope things get better soon. Hugs!
honey, double crap on the patches and tooth. any time you need a b&m session, just ring. you have a full plate without those complications. by no means is that ingratitude. you\'re just in a tough spot.
((((
One doesn\'t rule over the other! They are separate and should be treated as such.
Of course you\'re grateful Jaimie is alive and you love your grandson, but you did your job of raising her up to be independent and are suppose to get to just enjoy her and Eli as a grandma not a caretaker to both of them. You did what you were suppose to do and then the rug was yanked from under you. Hell it\'s been hard to keep going for yourself, your road has been a tough one. If anything be proud that you haven\'t punched holes in the walls. You are allowed your feelings you\'ve earned them and without penalties.
Love you and still here with you
it is too easy to become overwhelmed-that is when I find to write t hings down and get it out of my head so I cdan deal with things one at a itme
I have to admit that I was probably not as appreciative of my husband as I should have been. He broke up with me and now I\'m living on my own. No pets, no daughter, and no help.
Surprisingly to me I have been able to manage on my own. The timing was good because I had just had another procedure on my dialysis access. This time it actually took and I\'ve been having better runs.
I often used to wonder if I would be happier alone. So far I\'ve been holding up pretty good. I miss the pets & the company but not all the work. I\'m working hard at watering the grass here on the other side
Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement for what you have been through and are adjusting to.
jc you are allowed to express your pain and even feel it and also feel the frustration of juggling the care of your daughter and grandson. Anyone in your position would.
While in high level of pain and sleep not happening the guilt feelings are bound to creep in. I would not be surprised if you aren\'t second guessing everything.
I do understand a \"soup sandwich\". It is sort of like a \"goat rodeo\"