hi journal, Well, lets see where do I start?? Ok at my sisters house.. It did not go too well at all. I blew big time with her and sure did not mean to. I took a break from her closet, and went outside for a smoke and to calm down.. I should have left right then, but went back inside and started in on her closet again...Did get 2 bags to go to the thrift store. One I left there, as had it, and walked out...Told her sweet boyfriend to get rid of the bag of clothes. I had the other one in the car already. Well, the jerk put it into his closet, and now has it in his car.. He wrote me that he will keep it in the car til the next time he sees me,so I can dispose of it...I will get it and take it to the thrift store near my house,so she doesnt rebuy it. I did find 5 maternity tops that she bought!!! I mean what does she want with these?? She is 61 years old. The tops still had tags on it!!!!! I could take them back to Sears I guess, but wont...Will donate them...I had suggested to her biyfriend that she can keep all the clothes but we can make another closet for her. He told me NO NO NO, and then I get e-mail from him saying maybe another closet would work..but he wants one for her her shoes and such, and she doesnt need it real fancy. She already has a huge closet, so just another 8-10 footer would do just as well...He sure doesnt mind spending her money...he could talk her into buying a bridge if he wanted to. He kept saying NO tree for her and I told him she sure could have a tree... So, we shall see what happens...I called her care giver and told her, sis could have a tree, but maybe a 4 footer one,so bet she will bring one home today...I hope so, and if not then I will take her out to get a tree...I have to say I lost it when I was doing part of her closet.. She wants all her clothes and does not want to donate them....After 5 hours there, it was more then I could handle...I actually yelled at her....something I never thought i would do. I also asked the caregiver why she allowed sis to buy maternity tops... She told me that sis loved the tops and wanted them, and started to get angry at the caregiver, so the caregiver gave in...This was about 50.00 thrown away...My sister said she liked the tops, to me and this is when I blew.. I told her she could buy, but not stuff she would never wear!!!! And since she has clothes everywhere, that was enough!!! I am going to try it different this time. I am having the caregiver with me as well as sis, and see if maybe I can keep my cool enough to get some of this stuff sorted and hung up....You would not believe all the clothes!! She gets them everywhere and from thrift stores, and she doesnt even wash those first!!! The care givers hve told me that sis wants to shop when they suggest something else,sis gets is very adament about shopping !!! I dont mind her shopping but all these clothes are unreal!!! I told sis that if she wants to shop, to buy for kids and then donate the clothes to some church...as they sure can find someone who can use the kids clothing....She did not like this idea!! She tells me she loves her clothes!!!!! To give you an idea of her bedroom, she already has an 15ft x5ft closet.. Her room is a 30 x 15 and about 1/4 of the floor is covered with clothing....in huge piles!!!!! She has an extra bedroom about 10x12 and this is now filling up with clothes....It would take forever to sort through all of these clothes.....it is more then what some stores have....Think how many people she could help dress with all these clothes!!!!! OK OK enough of this...Hubby is doing about the same..He is still losing weight,,,A year ago he was over 200 pounds and now he hits the scale at a little less then 110..You can see his bones,and he has begun to get more weak...But it doesnt stop him at all... He likes to get out and do things...He has more strength then 10 men..(mentally)...His spirits is great and he is looking forward to our trip to Florida...His humor, is still good, and I sure do not know how he does it!!! He has always looked at the bright side of life, and still does....He never gets real mad and he has never asked WHY...He gets alot of broken sleep, and has pain sometimes, but it never stops him....What a guy he is!!!Well journal I had better get off here... Didnt bit-- too much this time...
Replies
I hope you arent being too hard on yourself with blowing up at your sis. I know that you never thought you would do that, but a person can only take so much and you have taken more than most could. I get so irritated at that boyfriend of hers that I could spit nails. He is about as much help as nothing. You are such a strong woman to deal with everything your going thru. Your hubby amazes me with his attitude and outlook. When are you two youngsters going to Florida? When you do go, I hope you both have a great time. Hope you take some pics and share them with us. Im sorry I havent been here for you for quite awhile but I have been thinking of you all the time.
I love you Phyllis....you are one in a million
Hugs and kisses....Julie....thank you for all your support and care and love with me being down sick.
John sounds like an amazing man. I could not keep his spirits if I were in his shoes. You have so much to deal with. You should not be upset with yourself because you got angry at your sister. She sounds like she can get frustrating. Her boyfriend sounds like a jerk, but like you said before it is a help in some ways that he is there and your sister wants him. Love, Hugs and Prayers for both you and John...Marie (Have a Nice Day!)
Don\'t feel guilty about losing your temper with your sis....you\'ve been under a lot of strain lately, and sometimes you just get to that point. I hope the caregiver will work with you to try and sort thru stuff, and maybe you can diminish the inventory bit by bit without upsetting sis. I hope the boyfriend treats her well, at least. I join with Julie and Marie in sending my love to you and John, along with a BIG hug!.....Lori
Don\'t beat yourself up about yelling at your sister. Deep down I\'m sure she understands that you are just trying to help her. Your husband sure must be an amzing man to stay so positive through everything. Sending out lots and lots of love to all of you, and know that I\'m thinking of you and praying for you sweet John.
Tracey.