Well I made it t hrough the first funeral place we went to but lost it in the 2nd..When they started talking about,you can get cards,and photos on the cards,and you can have a service,or music,or an upper vault or a lower one,it  just blew my mind..So on our way home,I calmed down and it hit me.. Why cant I keep  the ashes myself??? John about crashed the car...then I told him my idea was this...I would keep his ashes until my turn came and then I would have ashes and our son could  toss ashes on the corner when John asked me to marry him..This way we will be together forever!! John does not think I can do this,)keeping his ashes) but I believe I can,..so we will call our son and see if he would do this.. He is out of town right now and I do not want to tell him this over his cell,so will wait til he is back in Tucson before I ask him...My mom thinks this is a terrible idea, and I must be out of my mind, but John's mom thinks if I can handle it, then GO FOR IT!! John's sister is against the idea completely, and thinks I have completly gone crazy...But you know, I am completely at peace wih this idea..I mean heck,big funerals are for the living, and what is the point of having this big funeral, and pay out big bucks, when neither of us want it?? Besides after a 100 years who comes to put flowers on the space?? and who cares who is buried where??? We would be just another marker on the wall whom noone knows..I know this must sound morbid, but we know what the future holds, and we need to get things planned, so noone really has to do anything when our t ime comes..  I know I wont be able to handle it,and this way it is done and planned and paid for, and Of course this depends alot on what our son thinks,as he has to be the one to see that it gets done,but knowing him, I feel he will agree wih this...