Today, I am sitting here thinking so much about John and the life we have..Yesterdy ws terrible.. He was hurting so much from his back and he even had chest pains.. I guess I never gave his hesart a thought,as worried so much about the cancer,but he does have a bad heart..He has surgery years ago on his heart, and I almost lost him then..He has done well with his heart since,even tho sometimes it gave him a little probelm...but I never even once thought about it since the word cancer came up..I do worry about our upcoming trip from AZ to Florida in Dec..He is bound and determind to go..even has all the arrangements made,hotl,car,flight,and now it is worrying me.. We still have another month before we go, and we can always cancel everything, but he wants to go...He is so stubborn, but I dont say much,as if he wants to go, we will go...I try not to look at the things that could happen, but it is very hard not to think about it..especially when he looks tired, or if he is having pain..In the past 44 years, he has always been up early and ready to go at the drop of a hat.. Well, here it is after 10 in the morning and he is still sleeping. Yesterday he slept til nearly noon..yes, I m scared......scared of being alone, and scared of losing him...The dr had said he had 12-15 months and everytime he coughs or feels bad, I worry that 12 -15 months wont be what he has.....I want every bit of the 12-15 months........even longer.....but I can see him getting so tired..
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I am sorry that you have to undergo so much. I wouldn\'t be looking forward to a trip under those conditions either. I am sure your husband is comforted knowing that you care so much about him.
Have a better day today. God Bless.
Oh sweetie, I wish I could be there in person to give you a hug. I feel so bad for you. You are going through so much yourself and I think that you are doing remarkedly well. You have to stay strong for your sake and Johns. They say that God works in myserious ways, and he does. You have had 44 wonderful years together, which is more than a lot of other people have experienced. I know this will make you miss him more when he is gone, but the consolation is at least you had a wonderful person to share your life with. You must take care of yourself during this time also, as you do have some health problems. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I am here if you need me. Love and Prayers for both of you. Love, your friend, Marie