hi journal,  Lets see where do I start. How about tellingyou I did not have a computer for nearly 4 days and it about drove me crazy!! So glad to have it fixed now..  Yesterday was my husbands and mine 44th anniversary. This time was spent much more different then the past 43 years.. Since he can't have dinners (he eats through a tube), we did not go out for a nice dinner. Matter of fact we stayed home.. We did go out the night before, to midnight BINGO, and after midnight,  hubby wished me a Happy anniversary! I sort of thought that this day was going to be special like always, but it still was special... HE was with me!! It is strange, how so many years have gone by and he is the one special...not the dinners or anything else. I was just glad to be with him and know that for 44 years we have been happy. Oh we have had ups and down, but who hasn't?? But all in all, our marriage has been like a fairy tale.. How lucky I am!!  I probably could have looked and looked and would never have found MR. right, but he was there all the time! Yep. met him at 16 years old.. I was going steady with his best friend and I never thought of him as THE ONE!! During school lunches, all of us would eat together, and on weekends we all ran around together. Then one day, my mom told us we were moving and I would have to change high schools.. My life was going to change forever!!~ I was crushed and no more wanted to change schools then I wanted to fly off to the moon... My steady did not have a car, so what was goingto happen to us?? At 16, you think your whole world was going to end if you could not see your boyfriend and your friends that you saw each day!! Well, John had a car, and said he would pick me up each day and take me to the same high school, and my parents said it was ok by them!! Once again, my days were happy... But seeing john each day as he drove my sister and I to school, and talking to him, well my feelings were beginning to change..By the end of just a month, I was head over heals for John...)what do you expect from a 16 year old) Anyways, I was torn between my current boyfriend and John....and finally gave up and said John was going to be my guy!! After one more month John came up with an engagement ring for me.. Now I was in pure heaven.... (again, being 16 what do you expect).... This lasted about a month and I thought things were moving too fast...so broke up with John and went back to my old boyfriend.. John then joined the service, and was gone from our group...I never expected to see him again, He wrote to me afew times, but I never answered,,,then one rainey day while my boyfriend was driving me home from school his truck broke down... We were only 2 blocks from my house and the rain was coming down like cats and dogs...(he now had a licence and a truck).. Anyways we sat there wondering what we should do, and then from my street we saw this car coming and stopping to help us.. It was John home on leave...They got the truck fixed and my boyfriend took me home.. When I got home, mom said John had stopped by and would call me later. I told her I had seen John already but he never said he would call.. That night he did not call me, and the next day at school, my boyfriend got mad saying I knew John was coming over the day before... We got into it, and I broke up with him... That night John still did not call, and I called his home. He told me he did not know I was still with the other guy, but he would step back... I told him that I had broken up and now I would love to see him...We saw each other his entire leave  and he called several times a week after going back to his base.. By the time I turned 17, I knew John was the right one for me and ran off to marry him a few months after I turned 17. We got married by the justice of the peace, and have lived happy ever after since then..I have not written all the things between the age of 16 and 17 that went on, but was just thinking of the main part when I decieded to be with John...Since John's cancer, I have come to realize that what we have together, is not just special days to celabrate,but each day to celabrate...OHHHHHHHH I cant say I dont get upset withhim for being sloppy sometimes. but hey guess this is just him!! I am grateful now to be picking up after him,as this means he is there to mess up...Right now I am being romantic, and feel so much love for him.. Now ask me next week if I am mad at him for being messy, and the answer will probably be yes I am!!! but it never takes the love I have for him away...