The last couple of days have been good!  I am still feeling anxious and I haven't got out of my house very much but then again I don't go out alone and my "safe people" are working or busy - How I wish I could go out by myself and not panic.  I have started walking up and down my street which is monumental to me!  I have a big night tonight - I have therapy and I am really nervous about it - I hate the drive, going into the building, all of it - I am very lucky that my therapist understands me - she specializes in Panic disorder and I am sure she has heard it all!  I have been trying to keep myself busy - I am installing a brick patio, the DIY channel made it look sooo easy I thought what the heck I can do it by myself - wrong - it has been the hardest thing to do and my family does not like to help :( oh, well I shouldn't complain it was all my idea!  I have set a goal to get it done by spring hopefully I will because I promised by 5 year old a party on the "patio"!  Thanks to all who read my journal and your comments are always welcome and helpful :)  I am starting not to know myself I have been so positive lately - that is a good thing (positive again :))