I had a great weekend!  I went out Saturday and Sunday - the anxiety was there but I didn't let it get the best of me :)  It feels so good to say that I am getting out of my house even though I need a safe person (my husband), I feel that if I continue to go out things will eventually get better!  I picked up all kinds of books from the library so I am going to try to read this week, it use to be one of my passions but I haven't been able to read for a long time - can't seem to concentrate on it, but I figure if I don't try I will not know if its something I can do now.   I am trying so hard to do things I didn't do because of fear and I realize that I can do them even if I don't do them alone.  I wonder if having a safe person puts a damper on my recovery - who knows all I do know is that at this point of my recovery that is what I need and eventually I may be able to things alone :)  I am not looking forward to tomorrow MONDAY YUK YUK YUK, it is always the hardest day on me because I am alone again and I dread it, but I am going to try to make the best of it and work on my pond, yard and patio.  I want to thank all of you who read my journal and make comments on it because it really does give me the motivation I need, the friends I need, the love I need!!!!