I hate Mondays.  I feel like a failure today - I had to cancel my son's appointment because my daughter is still sick and needs to go to the doctor.  I was really going to try to go to my sons appointment, but when I canceled I had mixed emotions - sad that I can't do things on my own, happy I didn't have to go : ( .  I really need to be more independent.  I feel that without a safe person with me I can not function - it sucks.  I guess I am feeling sorry for myself today - what else is new, I do that quite often.  My therapist told me that fear of dying is because I am not living my life to the fullest and I wonder if that is true - it kinda makes sense to me but then again if I didn't have panic I would be living my life to its fullest.  I would love to hear other peoples feeling about this!  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Dont beat yourself up, You had to cancal anyway.
deleted_user
deleted_user

tomorrow WILL be better, i am \"sprinkling Happiness\" ur way *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*. xx dont feel guilty abt today either, you cannot be in two places at once....xxxxx
deleted_user
deleted_user

That doesn\'t make sense to me. I fear dying..it never leaves my mind. But in order for me to live life to the fullest I would have to stop thinking about dying so much. I mean I guess it is worth a shot though, trying to live life differently than I am now.
Tabby xoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user

Each day will get better. Not sure I understand what the councelor means but there must be some logic behind it.
*HUGS*