Another weekend gone - I hate Mondays because it means I will be alone - I hate being alone. I get panic just thinking about it. I have been dodging my therapist because I am terrified to go to her office. We use to have phone therapy but she seems to think I would benefit more from face to face therapy. Agoraphobia sucks and I am tired of it.
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I think writing in my journal is going to help me - just knowing that there are other people that share my illness and talk to me makes me feel good! I am exicted my fasting blood sugar has dropped from 165 to 145! Hopefully my panic will get better too! I am going to try to leave my house today for a walk - if I make it to the corner without running home I will be happy!
Hey Kiddo, I hope you made it outside. You know we humans need about 15 mins a day of sunshine for the vit D. Just try getting outside for 15 min a day. Even if you are still on your property. You\'ll maybe feel safer being on your own property and you\'ll get use to the neighbors,people driving by etc.. Just try the little stuff first. Your blood sugar could go down some more when the emotions are more stable. I encourage you to do the face to face with the doctor. It\'s a step towards the ultimate goal of being healthy and we all want that for you. I understand as I told you before I was a shut-in big time for a few years and prior to that I only went to work, market and occasionally out once in a blue moon. I am now going to the gym 5 days a week, the doctors bi-monthly lately and the market more than the monthly visit. There\'s not much else to do in this town that I moved to 4 yrs ago but I\'m not having panic attacks like before. I\'m comfortable going to familiar places but it all started with being comfortable with getting outside my doorways. It took a time but I wasn\'t doing anything else that was more important. You have more than yourself counting on your courage. There\'s nothing outside that will harm you more than you are doing to yourself and your family. Chin up girl and open that door and feel the sunshine on your face. You can do it.
Thank you for the encouragement! I will start going out tomorrow - baby steps, right? How on earth did you recover?