Hey Everyone,I stopped self-harming up until 3days ago so i managed 1 week 2days without self-harming...i've been feeling low for afew days now but i've been trying to ignore it and just get on with the day but today and last night really done me in...i cant just ignore it...i mean i can hide it from others and act la de da with everyone but the thoughts just start to crowd my head and fighting only makes them worse...i dont know whats i'm gonna do or whats gonne happen but i'll find out at some point...I just want to let you all know though that i care about you all and i luv you all and i appreciate what you've all done for me...i hope things work out for you all and life starts treating you better...you all deserve better than what you've had happen to you and what pain your going through...its just so unfair and if i could i'd take that pain away from you i would even if it meant i would never be happy...because all i want is for everyone here and all my friends and the family i love to be happy and for life to treat you right.Take care of yourselves,With LUV ur FRIEND Becka xoxox
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Are you okay hun, you sound very down. I am here if you need to chat. Remember by hurting yourself your only putting your inner scars on the outside to serve as a constant reminder even on your good days, this is how I keep the intrusive thoughts from becoming true actions. Thoes son of a bitches may have controled me then, but today I control me and I wont let them win, I am a survivor and so are you.
DEAR BECKA. HUNEY YOU CAN DO IT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, U don,t need to take our pain, that is our probelm, we try to take everyone,s pain and we can,t, as we can,t take UR PAIN, WE CAN LET YOU KNOW U ARE LOVED, AND WERE HERE FOR YOU, YOU CAN DO IT I BElieve in you, I cut for awhile, and it,s true, the outer scars are a reminder, I finally realized, that my thoughts aren,t real, i have been trhough so much worse in my lifetime, AND GOD WANTS US, TO TREAT OUR HEARTS AND BODIES WITH LOVE, SEE THE BEAUTY U HAVE INSIDE AND IT WILL SHINE OUTSIDE AS WELL, Please keep in touch with me, and always KNOW, I LOVE YOU AND I,M HERE FOR YOU, UR DEAR FRIEND, WILDTHING!
This sounds like a goodbye. That worries me a lot. You can always ALWAYS message me and I will get back to you I PROMISE! Or you can find me online on yahoo or AIM as izzyandjbj
To quote Bon Jovi, my favorite band... \"I\'ll be there for you these five words I swear to you\"
Take care,
Izzy
Izzy your right...When i wrote this journal entry i wrote it to say goodbye...i was feeling suicidal but not as bad as i had on other occasions but now i dont know whats going on my head is so screwd and i just cant make sense of anything...i cant take not being able to make sense of things/thoughts it just get me angry,annoyed,frustrated etc...i cant even like write my thoughts on a piece of paper to see if i can then make sense of it or if anyone else can.
Do you ever get this?.
Wildthing i wasnt feeling like this because i started cutting again like i told ordieswife2 i\'ve accepted that cutting is apart of me and it forever will be even if i do stop for good one day i\'ll always have them scars but thats my fault i done this to myself so i cannot complain when i get older but yes i\'ve accepted it.
Take Care Everyone,
with luv
ur friend becka xoxox
well were both on the same page beck. all of us and you want the best for each other and for all of us to feel good. i share your wishes and dreams. you have made my life better and the down feelings even disappear at times. i love you for that and just for who you are; a beautiful kind soul. i play our song and driftr away to a place of happiness and thats your gift i am greatful for. you made it a week and a half and you can simply start over again. no one is keeping track of any slip ups. if you will take care of yourself and think of me and know that i love you so much.
all my love....
dennis