Thursday
I don't even know where to start, seems like there are 500 things since I last journaled, um day before yesterday?
Went to see new doc yesterday, he prescribed an ad, and a combo low dose ad/sleep aid for at night. Can't remember the names and my butt just sat down, so not going to look now, will update later. Started me on new bp med also. Did bloodwork also going to ck thyroid, and my hormones. Thinks I may be in at least perimenopause. ya know, on 3 dif visits I asked my prev doc about cking hormones and every time I got pat on hand and he'd say, well, you're probably going through menopause and its normal.......new doc I didnt even have to ask. I go back in 2 weeks.
Had our third mc session last night. Went well I think. I still do the majority of the talking, but ,, well,,what can I say. H does open up some there. One of the things that we talked about yesterday was being vulnerable, how I feel vulnerable, but I still feel he has not made himself completely vulnerable to me. This is not new, there has always been somewhat of a shield up. His childhood was such shit and so was mine. But I only knew some things, most of it he jsut locked away. We were up till 430 this morning talking. Lots of ground covered, and I think I will break down some parts of it in my journal tomorrow. But I am tired only got an hour sleep thism morning and about hour nap this afternoon.
I do want to say this though: today was Thursday, 8 weeks sincce dday. First thursday I have not had a major panic attack and meltdown. Don't know if I was too tired, could barely talk today was so exhausted, plus the cramps,,, or if it's real progress, but whatever it is, I'll take the reprieve :)
Went to see new doc yesterday, he prescribed an ad, and a combo low dose ad/sleep aid for at night. Can't remember the names and my butt just sat down, so not going to look now, will update later. Started me on new bp med also. Did bloodwork also going to ck thyroid, and my hormones. Thinks I may be in at least perimenopause. ya know, on 3 dif visits I asked my prev doc about cking hormones and every time I got pat on hand and he'd say, well, you're probably going through menopause and its normal.......new doc I didnt even have to ask. I go back in 2 weeks.
Had our third mc session last night. Went well I think. I still do the majority of the talking, but ,, well,,what can I say. H does open up some there. One of the things that we talked about yesterday was being vulnerable, how I feel vulnerable, but I still feel he has not made himself completely vulnerable to me. This is not new, there has always been somewhat of a shield up. His childhood was such shit and so was mine. But I only knew some things, most of it he jsut locked away. We were up till 430 this morning talking. Lots of ground covered, and I think I will break down some parts of it in my journal tomorrow. But I am tired only got an hour sleep thism morning and about hour nap this afternoon.
I do want to say this though: today was Thursday, 8 weeks sincce dday. First thursday I have not had a major panic attack and meltdown. Don't know if I was too tired, could barely talk today was so exhausted, plus the cramps,,, or if it's real progress, but whatever it is, I'll take the reprieve :)
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