Another Day
Woke up feeling OK today, nauseus, as usual. No strange dreams that I recall, so thats a plus.
I miss my mom, really wish you were here for me to talk to, Mom!
JR told me again that he will go to counseling w me so now I just need to make appointment. Always before TOW he would say no, but now is willing, and its scary to me.
He is bending over backwards, being supportive, and truly remorseful. Thats kinda scary too, just because in past his go-to emotion was always anger,, so exciting that he's finally gotten in touch and can open up about other stuff, but scary cuz it's different.
I miss my mom, really wish you were here for me to talk to, Mom!
JR told me again that he will go to counseling w me so now I just need to make appointment. Always before TOW he would say no, but now is willing, and its scary to me.
He is bending over backwards, being supportive, and truly remorseful. Thats kinda scary too, just because in past his go-to emotion was always anger,, so exciting that he's finally gotten in touch and can open up about other stuff, but scary cuz it's different.
Replies
I am so sorry you are missing your mom :( If you ever need someone to talk to let me know :)
I think the CS who successfully navigate the reconciliation process do so because they take the time to do some self examination. And it doesn\'t always happen overnight (hence my postings before about being PATIENT). The other day (at 20 months out) my H said he realizes now that when he let the A happen he just couldn\'t see the forest for the trees and he had gotten so wrapped up in all the small details. That was a milestone for me because he was really owning his part in how he allowed it to develop. My H made some MAJOR changes that he has stuck with since day one. It is because of that and the fact that he continues to develop his own understanding for what happened that I think we may actually come out of the other side better one day. Sometimes they learn that they can be vulnerable with us too and actually allow us to see a different side. If your husband is opening up and dealing with things differently, then you are indeed fortunate because so many people have to deal with the CS whostonewalls or who tries to place blame on the BS.
The night I confronted h, one of the things he said to me was \' she made me feel special\' that made me sad, because I knew I hadnt been doing that,, but then he said \"she was fun\" that made me very angry I said of course she was fun you idiot, she wasnt here every day pickin up your dirty laundry, or emptying the trash can on your side of the bed cuz you never do, or making your coffee every morning that I don\'t drink,, or gee i dunno worrying about the bills,, or the 16 yr olds loser boyfriend that she \"loves\" and if we tell her we hate him she\'ll \"loveeeee\" even longer,,,,oh i was hot,,,but he surprised me the next day when he was home on his lunch break he said \"I thought about what you said about her seemin fun, and you were right\" wow that was a shocker.
beach is right. My take on how my H feels about his A is that he admitted to it, he did the token MC and now it\' sbehind us. NOT! He still works with TOW. And although occassionally he engagesin bad talk about her, he would like nothing more than for me to meet her so that I can put out of my mind what an awful person she is. Seriously? Yup - that\'s his answer.
ugh that has sooo got to suck. She knew he was married right???? then there is nothing else you need to know about her, imo
TOW??? Trashy other woman???