The grieving process is still in full effect.  I guess it's healthy to feel and grieve but still very painful.  I pray for the hurt to go away and I pray for strength and courage.  The fear in my gut about facing life alone is terrifying.  I have to change my whole life.  I was not the source of our finances so I know have to find a way to be self supporting for me and my daughter.  I may lose our home because I cannot afford it.  The future is scary.  I have so many more responsibilities now like cleaning the whole 4 bedroom house on my own, as well as the big yard, and the child and pets.  On top of that working possibly two jobs.  I want to move on emotionally but right now feel as if I am only in survival mode.  I am trying hard not to obsess about my husband moving in with another woman.  I was coping with the fact that he gave up his family to drink, but realizing that he went right into another domestic situation with someone else is heartbreaking.  I am confused, scared, lonely and hurt. I will continue to pray and read to improve myself but wanted to get it out.