After all the frustrations in getting permission for mom to have her teeth extracted, it was all a waste.  It seems that those of us who take Fosomax or other medications for osteoporosis cannot simply have a tooth extracted.  They have discovered that these meds make the bone hard and make it difficult for the bone to heal.  Both the dental technician and the dentist explained that for those on these meds for over 2 years the bone sometimes doesn't heal at all.  It simply leaves a hole where the tooth was.  Thus, we have to go to an oral surgeon.It that was all of the problems for yesterday, I would probably be OK.  But after working on this for 2 days and riding over an hour each way with mom I am in tears.  She talked all the way down about having all 7 teeth extracted.  This was interspersed with her obsession about settling her cousin's estate.  All I kept hearing is "how much money she has and nobody will let her spend it."  She became accusatory and called me a liar several times when I tried to explain it all.  Then while we waited almost 2 hours for her turn she was quite.  But when we went into the examining room, she started all over.  She accused me of trying to manipulate her into having her teeth extracted and said it is her body and she will do as she darn well pleases.  Nobody had better try to pull any more than the one tooth that is broken.  Then she began pointing her finger at me and shaking it.  I began to block out what she was saying because there is simply no calming her down (at least by me) when she gets this way.  I looked at the technician and said "if you need me I will be in the hall or waiting room."  The technician actually left the room with me.  Then Mom got out of the chair and started all over again accusing me of trying to manipulate the technician (who she kept calling doctor) and not listen to her.  I told her that we were not discussing her and she needed to go back into the room and sit down.  (When she is in these tirades, she has such hate emanating from her eyes. )  Again she started shouting that she knows me and I am trying to manipulate the situation.Finally the doctor came in and tried to explain what the problem was with her teeth.  She has bone holding in 2 of the 7 and the others have roots at least partially exposed.  Mom kept i interrupting the discussion, so the doctor simply turned his back on her and explained to me.  Whereupon Mom got out of the chair again and started telling the doctor that she is going to have ONE tooth pulled and nothing else.  She then shouted almost in his ear "talk to me, not her.  I am not senile and I can understand." (rolling my eyes and wanting to say "if you are not senile, then stop acting like you are.)  At that point the doctor handed me referral numbers and left. He was supposed to give her an antibiotic, but even I forgot until we were half way home.We stopped and had a little lunch.  I don't think I said more than 5 words to her because I had been embarrassed enough and simply couldn't take any more public displays.Mom started her tirade again on the rest of the way home.  Believe me, if I had had one of my children in the car, I would have pulled the car over and said now stop your nonsense and behave or you will walk home.  Yet, how can one make that type of threat to a 92 year old woman, much less my mother.  I have cried for 2 days and am so totally frustrated that I could scream.  This is where the system totally fails both the old folks and those of us who are trying to care for them.  Next week I intend to call the psychiatric nurse for our county and ask her advice.  I simply cannot take much more of this without losing my own sanity.I have called the oral surgeon. Mom has an appt for next Tuesday. I am pondering having the senior transportation take her and not even going to this appt.  But since I forgot to call them today, I will have to do the deed. Maybe tomorrow will be better.  At least I will hear from my children & grandchildren.  That always helps me get through these tuff times.