we got him back and it was so wonderful. his dad has threatened to leave the country and has the means to do so....so we worry now everytime that he has him...we contact the police when he is not back an hour after he is supposed to. it takes hours to leave the state in any direction and they will put out a statewide well baby search for him...especially with the history he has. so thanks for all of your prayers...my sis kim in salt lake city is finding a way to send me out to see my real dad in california..she keeps asking things like the closest airport etc.. so i think that she is really serious.. i have mixed feelings. it will be the first christmas together and i am 49. so it would be great to actually spend one with him before he dies. some of my friends tell me that he may be holding on so that he can see me and know that things will be ok and that i can let him go.... i would hate, hate, hate to have him die right after i left. i know that all is in Gods hands...just after what happened with nattie and the family that wants to think that i killed her, have put me on such a guilt trip so i don't know if i could handle it if he died right after even though it wouldn't be my fault on that either...just can't seem to get by it...i have finally been getting around to journals...i feel the pain and i feel bad for those that are hurting and going through tough times...i will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. better go its getting late and there is school tomorrow... sweet dreams to all.....jaime
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