today started out wierd..i went to bed at 3 am and about 4am and it was the wrong number. then the phone rang twice more, by then i don't even know if i was talking or dreaming...but "private"came up on my caller id so i must have been talking to someone????? then my daughter called to see if we could spend the day together.then my day got blue.. i overheard my daughter say that she saw her step-mom at lagoon and ...that is all i heard. that meant they were out seeing their dad... dont take me wrong..i don't care if they see him..but my eyes have opened and i find that my children only see (use) us if there is something to gain. i have tried for 9 years to be a loving mom and i thought that they were sincere in their love in return. now i feel like a used papertowel and thrown away. then there is my son, that borrowed my car (he got rearended) said that his was pronounced finally totalled. looking at it i would have been looking for a new one right away. he says that he won't get a check for it until monday. and if he misses another day at work he will be fired. and that he would have to work for mcdonalds until he could find something different.. NO GUILT TRIP THERE. i told him that i wanted it back. that not only am i paying the 270.00 a month for it and the ins. but also the 500.00 that he owes me from the last one!!!!!! i think that his little girlfriend (4yrs younger than me) wants him to keep it as long as he can. i don't want him to loose his job but i think two weeks is long enough to get something else and i know that my ins. wouldn't take that long to see it..fix it and pay 4 it... i wanted to end with a green smilie face, so i took a next door neighbor out to sizzler..don't usually have money for that, but my dr. gave me the 100.00 for the stocking.. days can start good...have ups and downs but i found if i can do something for someone else when i am down they feel good and i feel good...jaime
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