i saw my counselor today and we talked about pat at voc. rehab.
i told him about the college issue and how pat ruined my term at provo college.
that i really am depressed. i was doing so good and it was torn away from me. i again feel like a failure.
doesn't matter what i try to do it is always someone using their "free agency" to destroy my life,
i told him that i didn't want to try anymore. it wasn't worth the rejection. i also told him that i didn't want to go down the road i had in 2000. it's all i can do to stay away from that.
i told him that i would give 1% chance of going. he called a friend and is looking into scholarships that will help me get there.
i am looking for God to help me a few ways now. to help with the rejection. to help me find a way to go to the school that fits my needs. to help me up and dust me off and say it will be ok. and to definately help me stay away from that road.
at least i have him in my life. he doesn't reject me and i would just like to take the time to stay home and see if i can go on with the rejection.
i was taught to believe that i was a nothing and a failure. so that is the all i know and it is easy to go back to that it is a comfortable place to be.
i just wish i wasn't me. i don't want to go through this anymore.
i told him about the college issue and how pat ruined my term at provo college.
that i really am depressed. i was doing so good and it was torn away from me. i again feel like a failure.
doesn't matter what i try to do it is always someone using their "free agency" to destroy my life,
i told him that i didn't want to try anymore. it wasn't worth the rejection. i also told him that i didn't want to go down the road i had in 2000. it's all i can do to stay away from that.
i told him that i would give 1% chance of going. he called a friend and is looking into scholarships that will help me get there.
i am looking for God to help me a few ways now. to help with the rejection. to help me find a way to go to the school that fits my needs. to help me up and dust me off and say it will be ok. and to definately help me stay away from that road.
at least i have him in my life. he doesn't reject me and i would just like to take the time to stay home and see if i can go on with the rejection.
i was taught to believe that i was a nothing and a failure. so that is the all i know and it is easy to go back to that it is a comfortable place to be.
i just wish i wasn't me. i don't want to go through this anymore.
Replies
I fired my case manager yesterday and I felt empowered for the first time in my life and not because of self but because I felt she was imcompetent. Remember everybody in the system has a supervisor and when you feel they take your power away from you keep working your way to the top. I wrote a letter and I took advice from my therapist on just who to take it to. You are not a system failure, the system is a failure. They don\'t want people like you and I to succeed. Its all about power and who better to have it but you. I applaud you so get in there and fight for whats rightfully yours.