Update
69 days pull-free.
I went and got a haircut today. The hairdresser trimmed the back of my hair. She recognized me because I had spoken to her about trich the last time I had been there. Much to my displeasure, even though I know she meant well, she brought it up again in front of another hairdresser. She asked if I had been pulling and when I said no, she said "good girl." She told me my hair had filled in well. I have no bald spots anywhere now and for the most part, my hair seems to be fairly thick--as if I had never pulled. Most of it is the same length, too, which is really nice. I feel good about my hair, even though I still think of it as being similar in appearance to a sea urchin. Toward the end of my haircut, though, a guy walked in and sat in the waiting area to get his hair done and I felt really uncomfortable/self-conscious about my hair as I sat in the salon chair waiting for my hairdresser to finish. Obviously, I still feel very insecure about my hair. I usually feel unattractive, unfeminine, etc., but it's getting better.
Trouble is, now I feel the urges cropping up again. With the new semester starting, with classes and homework and tests to worry about, I've been stressed again. And now that my hair's longer, it's more tempting to pull. There's a tingling spot right at the front of my left part that keeps calling out to me and I find myself fingering various different strands, searching for the right one and tugging a little. This behavior needs to be stopped immediately. After I finish writing this journal entry, (my hands haven't left the keyboard all this time), I shall firmly clutch onto a squeeze ball of some sort and keep my hair away from my hand.
I've never been pull-free for more than two months or so. I'm really committed to stopping and I really don't want to be a puller anymore. I want to reach my goal of 100 days and I want to feel happy about myself. I'm going to try really hard. Failure's not an option.
Tomorrow morning, I will have been pull-free for 70 days. Since that's a mini-goal, I will reward myself with something--not sure what yet.
I can do this. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I know I can.
I went and got a haircut today. The hairdresser trimmed the back of my hair. She recognized me because I had spoken to her about trich the last time I had been there. Much to my displeasure, even though I know she meant well, she brought it up again in front of another hairdresser. She asked if I had been pulling and when I said no, she said "good girl." She told me my hair had filled in well. I have no bald spots anywhere now and for the most part, my hair seems to be fairly thick--as if I had never pulled. Most of it is the same length, too, which is really nice. I feel good about my hair, even though I still think of it as being similar in appearance to a sea urchin. Toward the end of my haircut, though, a guy walked in and sat in the waiting area to get his hair done and I felt really uncomfortable/self-conscious about my hair as I sat in the salon chair waiting for my hairdresser to finish. Obviously, I still feel very insecure about my hair. I usually feel unattractive, unfeminine, etc., but it's getting better.
Trouble is, now I feel the urges cropping up again. With the new semester starting, with classes and homework and tests to worry about, I've been stressed again. And now that my hair's longer, it's more tempting to pull. There's a tingling spot right at the front of my left part that keeps calling out to me and I find myself fingering various different strands, searching for the right one and tugging a little. This behavior needs to be stopped immediately. After I finish writing this journal entry, (my hands haven't left the keyboard all this time), I shall firmly clutch onto a squeeze ball of some sort and keep my hair away from my hand.
I've never been pull-free for more than two months or so. I'm really committed to stopping and I really don't want to be a puller anymore. I want to reach my goal of 100 days and I want to feel happy about myself. I'm going to try really hard. Failure's not an option.
Tomorrow morning, I will have been pull-free for 70 days. Since that's a mini-goal, I will reward myself with something--not sure what yet.
I can do this. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I know I can.
Replies