21 weeks 1 day; 1 year anniversary of miscarriage
Today has been such a hard day for me - first thing this morning I thought about the day 1 year ago when we went to the hospital for the 1st trimester nuchal screening and there was no heartbeat. Our baby girl died one week earlier at 11.5 weeks. So I noticed that I seemed to be in a bad mood early today and that I was frustrated with silly things that shouldn't really matter, and I eventually realized that last year was just sitting in the back of my mind all day long. It definitely has helped to feel my baby girl kicking and wiggling today, and to listen to her heartbeat on the Doppler. I just had no idea that it would hit me so hard today. The last time I had a miscarriage, 6 years ago, our little Lilly had been born one month before that anniversary, and I remember feeling a bit sad that day, but I had my sweet baby to take care of, and it wasn't as difficult as this. Tomorrow is the day a year ago that I had a D&C, so I guess I will have these couple of sad days to get through, and to remember the baby girl I lost, but also to celebrate the new life inside me now. It is just so scary for me - both times I have ever been pregnant in July have ended in a miscarriage, and all I can do is hope and pray that this July will be different.