Day 2

Today, I decided to heck with everything.  I was going to do a little something for myself......I went and had my hair colored and bought a couple of outfits.  Doesn't seem like much, but when the gray is showing and you are already feeling down, it doesn't help.  I was suppose to go to the home we need to sell and work on it.  I just couldn't get myself to do it.   
Instead I drove to the ex's new house that he is working on.  I needed to drop a check off for him and it's closer than the house we had together.  My 15 (almost 16) year old was there helping his dad.  He just closed on this house so some work needs to be done before he can move into it.  The ex has been so nice to me.  Why wasn't he like that before?  I will start to cry at the drop of a hat (not in front of my son though).  I don't know if my ex thinks he owes me or if it's easy for him to be kind since he has started the process of finding someone.  I have no intention of jumping right into another relationship.  I'd end up right back where I am now.  A friend told me that he is just looking for someone...anyone....to take care of him.
That's all for now.  Just wanted to journal a little.  I hope that this will help me move out of the crying (again) stage and start to be happy again.