I am so tired it is hard to believe. I have a cold a idy bidy cold, the only symptoms I have is a tickley throat, stuffy nose, and I am tired beyond belief.
I have only been sleeping for 5 hrs a night. I find it hard to sleep in new places. This is what happened the last time I was here at St. Mary's. Only then I was in rehab, I got so tired I ended up in a MS attack. I need to let go of my worries and sleep.
It takes me awhile to trust, I know it is because I was abused as a kid. The simple thing of not being able to get into my wheelchair on my own, makes me have to trust someone. I try not to think about it to much.
The last three months has been very hard on me. To be told that I'm not going to get better, to be paralized from chest down. Then not being able to do my own pari care, bowel care, to have someone feed me, with my history. I am suprised that I am still sane.
Bruce is having a bad day today. He has put fluid on his chest again. He has conjestive heart failure, and I worry about him. He does not look after himself. He is too busy trying to get things for me, he says that it is bad enough that I have to live in hospital, I should have the things that I want/need. I keep telling him that what I need is for him to be alive and well.
Today I think I got through to him. I told him that I was afraid to ask for anything because I was afraid he would push himself too hard so I would rather go without then to ask. So today he took the day off to sleep as he is just as tired as I am.
Tomorrow is a new day and I hope a good one
I have only been sleeping for 5 hrs a night. I find it hard to sleep in new places. This is what happened the last time I was here at St. Mary's. Only then I was in rehab, I got so tired I ended up in a MS attack. I need to let go of my worries and sleep.
It takes me awhile to trust, I know it is because I was abused as a kid. The simple thing of not being able to get into my wheelchair on my own, makes me have to trust someone. I try not to think about it to much.
The last three months has been very hard on me. To be told that I'm not going to get better, to be paralized from chest down. Then not being able to do my own pari care, bowel care, to have someone feed me, with my history. I am suprised that I am still sane.
Bruce is having a bad day today. He has put fluid on his chest again. He has conjestive heart failure, and I worry about him. He does not look after himself. He is too busy trying to get things for me, he says that it is bad enough that I have to live in hospital, I should have the things that I want/need. I keep telling him that what I need is for him to be alive and well.
Today I think I got through to him. I told him that I was afraid to ask for anything because I was afraid he would push himself too hard so I would rather go without then to ask. So today he took the day off to sleep as he is just as tired as I am.
Tomorrow is a new day and I hope a good one
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