this has been the most horrible week I have had in a long time. first it was unfulfilled sex, then arguments over disability and him giving me mixed messages, one I am helpless and the other is go to work, you havent't worked in 10 years. then more arguments over money. by the way, i make 900 dollars a month on social security , still suffer from extreme depression, and never could hold down a job for over a year and 4 months. anyway, i feel like shit and just want to cry and go to bed, even though my little girls are waiting for me to take them out to the ywca. i feel so miserable. he says he can't even afford to pay for therapy without dipping into the equity loan. he says he gives up financially. he just wants to spend the money and make the kids remember him. i am so sick from all of this i am crying now. i stopped going to church with him. i know i will find a way to pull thru all this but at this point i am wondering if the therapist is right. . . if we go on like this our marriage will be over. i need to regain my powers again even with all this misery and burdens on me. I have to be grateful for my children and continue on whether he loves me or not. he says he does but you know, i have to ask him , and he doesn't even look me in the face when he answers, so i say give me a big hug and he does. i never thought life could be so overbearing in marriage. i need to rebuild my life as if he doesn't exist, since he is giving up.