last night I couldn't sleep, just the same horrible thoughts running thu my head.  i numbed myself on librium and gin, a couple hot dogs. I woke up 10: 30 today to the same old stuff, cleaning. Jaqui is playing xbox and I am amazed at the things she can do. Autumn is playing dolls, Jack is patching up the concrete patio, and john is sleeping.Playing house I don't have to be part of the community. Well, except for going to school with the kids and classes. I don't know what made me so sick last night. But I am glad its over right now.