It is so hard for me to wake up in the mornings. Nothing about a new day seems to be an incentive for me to get out of bed. Laying there awake but with my eyes closed after snoozing my alarm about ten times, I become more and more tired just by thinking about all the things I have to do to get through the day. I finally get up from the bed saying to myself "if you don't you'll lose your job" and from there the rest of the day is just such a drag. But on some days, like this morning, I get lucky. I wake up with this sense of purpose and this tingly enthusiastic feeling as if I just had a nice cup of coffee. I sing on my way to work and smile, I actually smile and say good morning to people at work. But I think I can attribute these good feelings to a revelation I had last night. I drove past a church last night where they were serving free food to the homeless. Seeing all those people in line holding empty paper plates waiting for probably the first meal they've had all day or maybe all week just brought tears to my eyes. I'm so thankful that my family and I are able to fill our bellies everyday. And I'm grateful for those selfless people that were there volunteering and take the time out of their lives to make this world a better place. I even stopped to ask the volunteers how many times a week they were serving food and how to sign up to volunteer. Sometimes it takes a humbling sight like that for one to realize that there are other people in this world who are much less fortunate than we are and have much bigger problems and necessities. This depression that I allow to invade my life sometimes is a battle between my emotions and my logical mind that my senseless emotions usually win. Why do I let myself feel down when in reality I am luckier than God knows what large percent of this world? I have a loving family, a place to sleep at night, food and clothes. Most things that we usually take for granted. I want to learn how to let my logical mind win these fights with my senseless emotions of unhappines. I don't want to be slave to a medication, I want to naturally wake up every morning with a desire to live and enjoy this life God has gifted me with. I challenge you to do something selfless this year. Volunteer to help the homeless, volunteer to help the elderly, take time to read other members' posts on here and give your heartfelt thoughts. I really believe that when you help others and when you realize that you are powerful enough to brighten someone else's day you will find that strength that you need to help your logical mind win the fights vs your senseless emotions of unhappiness and depression. God Bless you all and I hope everyone has an amazing day! Love - Nel
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I am so very sorry that I have not answered you .........I will make no excuses .................those hard days can be hard on us .....I am so happy you are experanc in some of those good days .......this is just amassing .....i do remember reading it now but just didn\'t know what to right it was just like you had put it all down right there .............but I think I do have something to offer ...here after all ..........we do need to fight ...we can\'t just rely on meds ....meds alone are not going to do it not going to get us better .........we have to fight ...push our selves to do the things we need to do ..like get out of bed ..go for that walk ...talk to someone...make them feel good ...or do a good thing like you talk about ....as often as we can ......because when we help others it does come back to us as a positive energy .......we feel happy if only for a short time and help us to heal ........at the same time ....I think we need to ..understand we are dealing with a disease..........that needs to be treated ......so to ...not understand that part of it ....is not going to get you through it Eather..........you need both ............the most important thing is that we talk .......this is the first and most important steps in getting on the way to health .......everything from the very binging......that has ever hurt you has to come out ....everything ...it might be uncomfortable and even be hurtful to get it out but not as painful if we just keep keeping it inside ...I learned this the hard way ......I never talked ...and than one day I just couldn\'t function ...any more ...I couldn\'t talk.....I was crying but making no sound ....I couldn\'t look at any one .. directly except my h ..............so..my h talked to my doctor and he set it up for me to go to the hospital .....I was going down to far to fast ....so they felt very strongly that I needed ect .....and that was a life saver .......I hope I never ever go there again I relay didn\'t think I was coming back ......so if I ever really need ...ect ....again I would get it ......but I don\'t think I will .....because I talk now .....they can\'t get me up to ware I should be with the meds ...I need to fight every day ....what I do is to see the good in the small things .........gods work in nature .....I am over flowing with love ...............and yet depressed ....it also runs in my fathers family .............this is the third time I have had to be on meds ....but this time I will be on them for life .....and this I had to except .....it is all about quality of life ........it is like this ...I have diabetes..so I have to take my meds or I will be in real trouble .....same with the depression if I decide to stop any of my antidepressants.....I will go down hill fast ... and I know that .....I am not even all better with meds..................my son has been diagnosed with bipolar ....and we knew he had something for a while ...but he didn\'t want help ...so his relationship was going to be over if he didn\'t go and see what was wrong ......so he did ...and he was on meds for a year and a half and him and his wife went to councoling and to a phicaatrist .....and a group for bipolar ..........and ...after a year and a half he went off the meds and now they have two girls and they all participate in his health ...if the wife or girls tells him he is not acting right he checkers his self .....and does what he needs to do to get right ......so far so good .............so some just need meds for a short time ....I am just not one of them .......I hope that you are ........so make sure you take your meds until you don\'t need them any more ......I am sure your doctor will let you know when that is .......it has been now 10 years I have been in this depression but I have been depressed all my life since I was ....2 ....I have always had some level of depression ....so I relay don\'t know what I am missing ...but I do know I have been better and I have been worse ........and I am a fighter .....I have everything to live for .......i have a wonderful husband who has stood by me through everything .....5 ..beautiful children and ....what I call gods gifts to us our 18 grandchildren ............and it took me up until the age of 50 to want to be here ......now I want to be here I want to see my grandchildren grow up .....but since 2 .i use to pray that god take me home ....this was just to hard ...I couldn\'t . do it ...I made a mistake coming here ....after 2 I stopped praying for that because I knew ...I had to do my time ...........................so take good care of your self ....god bless ..I will keep you in my prayers