today is day 203 of my pregnancy I'm 29 weeks I have  77 days or 11 weeks left I'm 72.5% of the way there!!!Today I woke up bright and early I felt a little sad but also happy you see today is the day that my baby I lost in april was due I felt sad because I'll never get to hold that baby I'll never know if it was a girl or a boy and because that was my first I'll never forget that baby ever it also made me think that my pregnancy would be over and I would have my child here for christmasOn the other hand I'm grateful that this year I'm not crying about not being pregnant or thinking of spending another christmas childless watching all of the children opening up gifts wondering when is it going to be my turn because I know that my turn is right around the corner fighting to get pregnant for so many years and losing a child really makes me cherish the life that is inside of me even more I will never forget the baby that I lost and he or she will remind me of everything that I went throught to get his or hers brother and sister here safe and sound I know that I'm blessed and I will forever be grateful for my children the one I lost and the one that I carry inside of me!!!I have been super tired that is why I have not been on much my baby shower is this Saturday and because I'm a control freak I wanted to do everything myself and now I'm paying for it I have been glued to the phone calling guest that did not RSVP and with ordering the food the cake and renting tables and chairs plus shopping for party favors and streamer ballons the list goes on and on this is my first baby and my last so I wanted this shower to be really breath taking my family only cares about there self that is really bad to say but true if my twin was home she would have given my the shower that I'm giving my self or I could have let my mother in law give me a nice shower but I didn't feel comfortable with that so I did it my self I tired and paying for it but it is going to be so nice on Saturday and I will have everything that I wanted or dreamed of and I know that everything will be just right because I did it myself (just so you know that I'm not crazy someone in my family told me that I could feed all 35 of my guest with 50.00 get the picture) I will post pic on Sunday or Monday enjoy the rest or the work week and happy weekend!!!