for the last couple of days I have really been doing some thinking I feel so torn I just don't know what I want to do part of me wants to keep going and give getting pregnant my all and then a part of me is saying stop Allie your tried girl give it a rest for a while but when ever I see a baby our look at my daycare kids I know that in my heart I don't want to wait that being a mom is something that I want right now I feel so torn and part of me really thinks that I'm a little afraid of all my test results that are coming in next week and this may be my way of easiing the blow if something is wrong I don't know but I know that I have to keep my faith and what is meant to be will be