My mom

My mom died Sept 11 2008. I was not around for the last year of her life. I was so wrapped up in my depression and just trying to stay alive. I was hiding from the world. I finally got enough courge to  call her month ago and tell her I was doing better.  She already was sick with lung cancer. I saw her for the last time in August 30 the first day she was in the hospital I stayed the the whole day with her.  I had in my mind she was going to die , so I ran away fromt he situation and hid again. I never spoke to her again. I am racked with guilt and my heart is so heavy.